User:Palehoof

Palehoof (World of Warcraft Community MVP)


Palehoof is a frequent poster on the official forums for Blizzard Entertainment's MMORPG "World of Warcraft." Palehoof first began posting to the game forums in early 2005, where he made a quick name for himself. Posters alternately despise or respect Palehoof, depending on how they feel about the company Blizzard as well as Palehoof himself. Palehoof became widely known among the forum community for being an outspoken defender of the game and for explaining the policies governing it and the forums. Using strictly an "outside looking in" approach, Palehoof attempted to answer questions posed by the community to the staff of the game. Often, Blizzard staff are unable or unwilling to answer questions asked, and Palehoof would answer those questions in the format "I have seen them say..." or "The answer to that has always been..."

Palehoof would (and still does) often engage in extended arguments with other players. Palehoof is most often criticized for talking down to others, a charge he's never once denied. As the first year of the game's life wore on, Palehoof became a bit of an icon on the forums. Posters formed a brief but extensive group called "The Evangelical Church of the Hoof," while other posters launched a brief but passionate movement to have him banned from the forums on general principle.

In November of 2005, Blizzard announced the "MVP" program. This program recognizes those posters on the World of Warcraft Forums who have made an effort to improve or help the community as a whole. The first four posters thus recognized were Trepas, Faizaniel, Hyacinth, and Palehoof. Each had different ways of dealing with people, and were, each of them, liked and disliked for their methods. Palehoof remained arguably the best known, being the most prolific as well as the most caustic of the four posters. Blizzard's MVPs were identified first by a light blue font, halfway between the "poster gray" and "staffer blue." Some months later the MVP posters received an upgrade: an animated forum avatar in the form of a devilsaur. Over time, additional MVPs were added to the program and some were removed. Blizzard has made distinctions between "Community MVP" posters, of which Palehoof is one, and "Tech Support" or "UI" MVPs, such as Iriel and Thunderwulf. In August of 2006, Blizzard released a new version of their forum software, and the MVPs received a new font, green, while retaining the devilsaur avatar. In November of 2009, as part of the World of Warcraft Fifth Anniversary, which also marked the MVP program's Fourth, MVPs were given a new forum avatar: an Ironbound Proto-Drake. Having referred to the previous avatar as "Dino Bob the Avasaur" for years, Palehoof immediately christened the new avatar Proto-Doug the Avadrake, a moniker which has not met with overwhelming concurrence.

Palehoof remains a frequent poster on the World of Warcraft forums. He lurks primarily on the General, Suggestions, and Profession forums, as well as visiting other forums as time and opportunity present. He plays a Hunter almost exclusively within the game, and concentrates on the Engineering profession, Gnomish specialty. He remains a controversial poster as well, attacked as often as praised. He tries to maintain a sense of helpful assistance, with an undercurrent of biting wit. This often leads to, as noted above, extensive arguments back and forth. Palehoof is notoriously slow to concede a point, but will indeed admit defeat when all else fails. He himself has admitted more than once that it's not common for him to change his mind, but it is still possible.

Up through the last half of 2009 Palehoof was a very seldom raider, and was open about that. Palehoof often described his gear as being "standard issue five man heroic hunter loot." Often criticized for his lack of raiding experience, Palehoof never defended that. Not everyone can raid, Palehoof would say, and I'm part of everyone. Some posters lambasted him for this, saying no one should be called an MVP who doesn't raid. Others went the other way, saying that it was good to see Blizzard respected the word of people who aren't all end game raiders. It is often speculated that he uses his Palehoof profile mainly as a posting alt, and has a main with much more first hand experience in the game. Palehoof will immediately correct this if asked, saying that the Palehoof avatar is his main. He describes himself as a relatively casual player, and has never apologized for it.

Starting in late 2009, however, Palehoof began raiding fairly regularly, to the amusement of a few posters who would comment on his armory, "What happened...Palehoof actually has gear!" Even with an expanded raiding schedule, Palehoof sticks more to five mans, doing perhaps a raid or two a week.

Palehoof has been routinely cited by other World of Wacraft posters as being more than a slight suck up. His posts and threads are often seen as siding with Blizzard or "toeing the party line," while parroting common-knowledge information posted by CMs. Without question, Palehoof is known for explaining company policies as well as the reasoning behind such policies. For many posters it is impossible to differentiate between understanding something and defending it, a distinction Palehoof has long since given up explaining. Never one to shy from an argument or slight, this behavior has turned him into easily the most controversial of the MVPs, and made him a sworn enemy of many players, some of whom also have editing privileges on WoWwiki.

RP - Character Background


Palehoof Geargrinder is the last of a clan of Tauren originally known as Stonehew. Two generations ago, a mysterious and long lost uncle "returned" to the clan bearing with him the secrets of Gnomish Engineering. The Stonehew took to it immediately, and the clan became known as Geargrinder.

The funny thing about that Uncle Geargrinder, no one had ever heard of him before. And no one recognized him, either, because he was swathed in bandages and robes from head to foot. According to the family legend, Uncle Geargrinder (no first name is ever mentioned, if you ask Palehoof what his famous uncle's first name was he unhesitatingly says "Uncle.") was in a tragic accident during his initial experiments. That accident deformed and scarred him, according to family legend. So Uncle Geargrinder returned to the clan standing 3'2" tall. His horns were blown off in the blast, and the smoke inhalation caused his voice to become high and squeaky.  Uncle Geargrinder was so embarrassed by his deformity that he remained in his robes and bandages all of his days, and none of the tauren ever saw his face.

Clearly, Uncle Geargrinder was a gnome who pulled the wool over Palehoof's family's eyes. One can only assume Geargrinder was embarrassed by the ease with which this was done, if he was any sort of a decent person. A guildmate once asked Palehoof how his family had trusted Geargrinder since they never saw his face after the accident. "Oh, that made sense, though, since we'd never seen him before the accident as well!" The reasons the gnome had for living incognito in Thunder Bluff for many years are unknown, and an experiment in his later years made an end to him, all the family documents prior to his arrival, and many of them since.

From that auspicious base, the Geargrinder clan progressed handily in the realm of Gnomish Engineering. There was a brief period of time when the clan was thinned dramatically, but it recovered nicely. Palehoof's casual explanation of this is that after the clan began practicing Gnomish Engineering, many cousins disappeared for no apparent reason. "Odd, too, since they left all their clothes, including the ones they were wearing, but no note." Obvious to anyone but Palehoof, the Engineering trade did in a good many of his relatives before they hit the right note.

Having grown up reading Gnomish training manuals translated into Tauren, Palehoof speaks as though he has eaten a poorly translated technical journal and it is not agreeing with him. "Actually if you defragambulate the inhibitron, I think you'll see an uptick in the lateral perambulation of the Mechanostrider."

This history has also given Palehoof a great appreciation for Gnomes, as he has studied their work all his life. When seeing a gnome, Palehoof generally acts like an eager student, assuming every gnome who draws breath is a) interested in Engineering and b) willing to discuss it with a Tauren. Palehoof's always eager to show off his latest invention, and is usually overjoyed to see a gnome. Unfortunately, a gnome's reaction to a tauren running full speed at him waving a gun around and launching a battle chicken while yelling is not often positive, so Palehoof has seen a lot of spirit healers as a result of this. But he is as resilient as any Engineer needs to be, and never takes it personally when a gnome kills him. Palehoof has even taken to recruiting for a political action group called "Society of Taurens Opposed to Miniscules' Persecution," hoping to establish better trade relations with the gnomes. Sadly, S.T.O.M.P. has not had much luck in recruiting or establishing relations. It joins the Toadwright's Guild, and the Department for the Removal of Other Worldly Expressions, Language, Vernacular, and Names (D.R.O.W.E.L.V.N.) as organizations of which Palehoof is the founder and sole member. It is often observed that Palehoof gets the most out of his Engineering skills by quite literally making friends.

RP - Resume Bullets and Achievements
Palehoof has mastered all professions he has undertaken, boasting (often) a Grand Master ranking in Engineering, Mining, Fishing, Cooking, and First Aid. In Engineering particularly he boasts a wide range of schemata, including the matched pair of Lil' Smoky and Pet Bombling, the eclectic Lifelike Mechanical Toad, and the largely ornamental Crashin' Thrashin' Robot. Pursuit of these mechanical pets has also led Palehoof to obtain a Mechanical Chicken, a Rocket Chicken, a Mechano-peep, the plans for the Tranquil Mechanical Yeti, and a recently available Warbot.

Ever a gregarious sort, Palehoof has earned Exalted reputation with the Argent Dawn and Cenarion Circle, and has even helped out the small village of Tranquilien in the Eastern Kingdoms. While adventuring in Outland, Palehoof earned high honors from Cenarion Expedition, Keepers of Time, Netherwing, Ogri'la, Sporeggar, Consortium, Mag'har, and Thrallmar. Additionally, work with the people of Shattrath has earned Palehoof similar honor with Lower City, Sha'tari Skyguard, the Scryers, and the Sha'tar. Palehoof's reputation with the Consortium has also allowed him to earn him the key to Yor's Chamber in Heroic Mana Tombs.

Palehoof prides himself on being an "honorary Carny," and often says he is perhaps the most well respected player character by the Darkmoon Faire on Lightninghoof. Being a self professed carny, one might assume this claim is largely unsupported. His claims that he remains undefeated in the art of Steam Tonk combat are similarly reliable.

Since the way to Northrend was opened, Palehoof has continued to make friends across the land, being Exalted with the Horde Expedition, including Argent Crusade, Kirin Tor, Knights of the Ebon Blade, and Wyrmrest Accord, as well as the Kalu'ak and the Sons of Hodir. In between visits to the various dungeons of the northern continent, Palehoof is a known fan and jouster in the Argent Tournament, having earned the rank of Exalted Champion of the Horde, representing all cities of the Horde as an Exalted Champion. Work in Sholazar Basin has earned Palehoof addition Exalted reputation with the Oracles as well as the Frenzyheart.

Over the year Palehoof always throws himself into holiday celebrations, having earned titles for all holiday events save the Children's Week, which sources report he is confident will be completed in April of 2010.

Crackpot Forum Theories
Do'Urden's Dilemma

Do'Urden's Dilemma is the condition of unpopularity caused by popularity. In many cases, a collective society responds collectively. Popular characters or concepts present in the cultural zeitgeist become adopted, adapted, co-opted, and ironically referenced to the point that the appeal of their initial rise is dwarfed by the backlash against them. Spurred by countless repetitions, references, references to references, jokes, jokes about jokes, parodies, and remixes, the same collective society which became entranced by the concept becomes resentful of the concept.

This is particularly sharply felt in the case of Drizz't Do'Urden, a character in Dungeons and Dragons lore. This character's story is that of the brave iconoclast, breaking from the rut of his people and finding his own way in a world which is as hostile to him as those he betrayed by leaving his home. Drizz't is an engaging character because he is a Drow elf: in Forgotten Realms this is a race of subterranean cannibalistic demon worshiping slave trading elves. To a one. Except, in the works of R.A. Salvatore, for one Drizz't of House Do'Urden. He, unlike every Drow before him, does not wish to follow in the bloody footsteps of his people. Instead he sets out and finds his way to the world above, where his considerable skills in combat and subterfuge are needed. In the hostile wilds of the Forgotten Realms anyone who sees a black skinned, silver haired elf is likely to attack him out of fear of the unknown. Worse, anyone who recognizes him as a Drow is certain to attack him out of knowledge of what he is. An enthralling character with a rich and interesting storyline.

However, when that character and his name, habits, and storyline are appropriated whole or in part and shoehorned into any game currently being played, Do'Urden's Dilemma comes into play. The character is appealing due to the iconoclastic nature of his story: he is the sole exception to a civilization, which is why he is an engaging character. And since he is so appealing to such a wide audience, many of that audience appropriate his story and weave it into their own. Thereby, of course, diluting it, scattering it, and cheapening it. Because the sole dissenter in an empire of evil loses some of his appeal when there are fourteen thousand of him, and they're all named the same.

Hence, what was a popular character concept becomes one which is roundly mocked, which you will witness yourself the first time you meet a Night Elf hunter named Drizzat who has tamed a black panther and is dual wielding sabers.

The Lore of Pong

Generations of strife and warfare have existed between the two kingdoms L'efft and Ry'te. An ancient war, never truly resolved, petered out to attrition but remains, a sore festering beneath an abandoned battlefield. Amidst this war, a betrayal, perhaps some infidelity and even secret bastard children, where the royal scion of L'efft has been secretly replaced with a false prince who is actually the son of L'efft's prime minister; placed in power by the prime minister in order to topple the existing dynasty of L'efft in favor of his own ancient and honorable family's line. Meanwhile, the armies of Ry'te have been amassing on the borders, preparing to strike while L'efft's political leadership is in turmoil. In the nick of time, the king of L'efft, to avoid total war and the death of thousands of people, proposes single combat against Ry'te. The two kingdoms select their champions from among the entire populace, and those two champions meet on the field of battle. This is that battle. You are that champion. Are you ready to take up arms in defense of your homeland?

Sir Edmund Worthmeasure

In the late fourteenth century, Sir Edmund Worthmeasure invented the first ruler, which he called at the time "A stikke for thee meafuremente of yon penife lengthe." Shortly thereafter Sir Worthmeasure was lynched by the men of the surrounding counties, who did not appreciate the gentleman's indicating to the women of the surrounding counties exactly what "eight inches" looked like.

Yes, Sometimes I Complain
I begrudge other professions being given everything Engineering ever had to make it unique or appealing. Where other professions didn't reap the benefit of that theft, Jepetto Joybuzz and Upper Deck Games did.

Trinkets? We used to be great at that, till Jewelcrafters took all the trinket development staff.

Combat pets and helpers like Dragonlings, Battle Chickens, and Gnomish Turrets? See above: try getting yourself a Saronite Ocelot or whatever. We haven't seen an upgrade to Dragonlings since we made them out of Arcanite, and we haven't seen anything like the Gnomish Turret since they released the Gnomish Turret.

Actual combat useful items like Death/Shrink/Discombobulators? Way too powerful in a post BC environment. But hey, at least we can still use them on level 80 targets.

Funny little gewgaws and perks like the World Enlarger and Cloaking Device? Let me introduce you to the Train Set, the Paper Flying Machine (and Zeppelin) Kit, the Goblin Weather Machine, the Perpetual Purple Firework, and the Disco Ball, all of which are available exclusively through the Dalaran Toy Store or currently out of print Trading Card Game Loot cards.

Mounts? Sure, we can make flying machines. I'm not sure they're quite as nice as the X-51 Nether Rocket, which has no business being a trading card item but should have always been a Goblin specific mount. They're certainly not as nice as the X-53 Touring Rocket, which is of course available for referring a friend who pays for two months' game time. And incidentally, while we Engineers are trying to preserve a sense of skill and wonder about our profession, so that at least we can cling to the pride of knowing other people can't work our stuff? You need Engineering to zip up a suit of Mechbuilder's Coveralls. You need Engineering to turn on a flashlight. You do not need Engineering to pilot a rocket or drive a motorcycle.

This is my favorite gripe: minipets. We've always been proud and grateful that we can make minipets. Specifically, the mechanical squirrel, Lifelike Mechanical Toad, Tranquil Mechanical Yeti, and the Bombling and Smoky. And we were also grateful that we could market these pets, some of them anyway. The Toad and Yeti are both quite rare for post-BC engineers to know, and they sell quite well. They're also pre BC content, and it's getting a little stale to breathlessly announce for sale an item which is a five year old antique, and rare only by the cultural unlikelihood of people farming random world drops in old world Azeroth past level 50. So we asked for more mechanical pets we could make and/or sell.

Mechanical Chicken, awesome! Quest reward. Rocket Chicken? That's amazing! Loot card. Lil' XT? Pet Store, ten bucks. Warbot? Last summer's Mountain Dew promotion. Mechanopeep? Gotta be a Gnomeregan champion at the Argent Tourney, or know one.

What'd we get in Engineering?

They took Smoky and the Bombling and made them BOE and learnable by Goblin and Gnomish Engineers. Which, arguably, meant that rather than give us new pets to make, they broke pets many of us liked having as special "membership has its privileges" pets. While adding five new mechanical pets to the game, none of which approach Engineering, all we could get out of them was a severe downgrade to (again) pre-BC content which let us sell it, and at the same time cheapened it for those of us who spent years farming membership cards to get it.

External Links:
Post History: https://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/search.html?characterId=299008682&sid=1

Screenshot Gallery: http://usera.imagecave.com/Palehoof/Palehoof

Portraits by other players: http://usera.imagecave.com/Palehoof/Portraits/

Motivational Posters: http://usera.imagecave.com/Palehoof/Promotional/

World of Warcraft Armory Profile: http://us.battle.net/wow/en/character/Lightninghoof/Palehoof/