User:Xavius/Zrelo

Background
Zrelo was born 376964.247506,245-32 Gnomish Calendar in the large gnomish Relo family in the little obscure gnomish town of Relogear (formerly Gearregan), a town owned by his family and it's patriarch, the venerable tinklord zAAlrosleckagghetrhaploreianrelo-Gurgersygear-BOOMsprocketsprocketspringmachinery. When Zrelo grew up, he gazed into the wonder-mirror of the forgotten titan Emongrebü, and saw his future: a mighty swashbuckler, standing on top of a huge pile of slain enemies, his twin rapiers glistening in the sun, while several gnomish women swarmed around him. He like this, so he set out to become a swashbuckler. Shortly after he had started his career as a swashbuckler, he also began to pursue the noble art of engineering, and also started using a gun.

Tour de Outland
Zrelo's boasting (see Personality) had reached it's height already when he first stated his adventuring career, much to the annoyance of the local buzzboxing community. So much that most of them shortly desired him dead, but luckily for Zrelo, some of them came to his side, and offered to help him, and teleported him to the safety of a piece of floating rock just outside Nagrand in Outland. His allies began teleporting him all around the place, and he finally ended up on the roof of Tempest Keep. There, he fell asleep.

When Zrelo woke up the next morning, he unfortunately slipped (Zrelo himslef claims he was pushed) and fell down to his untimely demise. The next thing he knew, he was dead, a ghost in a graveyard in the goblin town of Cosmowrench. He spoke to the local spirit healer, and was revived. From Cosmowrench, Zrelo proceeded through Netherstorm, dieing A LOT in the process, until he finally ended up in Area 52. From here, he used his hearthstone to travel back to Coldridge Valley. From that day, he swore to become more humble in his ways. He still has a huge ego, but he is careful to whom he shows it to.

Personality
Zrelo has a very, very, VERY big ego (but don't tell him that, he'll only start bragging about it), which has gotten him into trouble on more than one occasion. He likes to think he's the best there is in just about every field. When something doesn't go his way, he usually claims his way has changed. He also likes to exaggerate. Other than that, he is a cheerful fellow who likes to provide morale service for his allies, and demoralization "service" for his enemies, in the form of highly unusual taunts ("Your mozer was a trogg and your fazer was a son of a murloc and a kobold, and I will extract the skin from your smelly armpits and cook it in a rusty cauldron togezer wiz a rotten chilli for two and a half hours, and zen I will feed it all to a hungry two-headed ogre wiz your skull as ze bowl! May said ogre zen zrow up on your foot!"). He is also the inventor of several confounding expressions, such as "Great galloping gophers of Galakrond!", "Massive marauding mooses of Malygos!", or "Awful assaulted artichokes of Alexstrasza!"

Speech
Ze great mighty (and handsome) ZRELO speaks like zis! Zis is perfect, no-accent speech, really!

Combat
Zrelo prefers to open combat by firing his gun, and then rush in with a sword in each hand and hack away at his enemies. A favored tactic of his is to gouge an opponent with his swords, do a quick jump backwards, fire his gun, and jump back into the fray and eviscerate the poor beast/humanoid/copper vein.

Relatives
One thing to note is that all members of the Relo family share the same hairstyle and hair color, for some incredibly silly reason best left unidentified.

Ahoofarizomagnarootimofgrelo
Zrelo's ninth(6) great-grandcousin thrice added multiplied by eight divided by 17 parted 54 1/7, Ahoof (nicknamed "tauren-foot" by a particularly witty gnome) was a paladin-rogue-mage in the service of the Scarlet Crusade. The Crusade took him in under a period of severe lack of members. Herod has been reported stating "It can't possibly be any worse than that blood elf". Ahoof was particularly fond of crossbreeding dragons to create "new and exciting color combinations", which got him killed when he tried to breed forth the Dragon of All Colors. Since then, all members of the Relo family has been utterly forbidden by threat of death and soul-devouring to even approach a dragon ever again. He is believed to have been resurrected as an undead, freed by the Forsaken, but kicked out soon after due to being too annoying. His body lies buried in the Relo family catacombs.

Srelo
Srelo was Zrelo's brother and great fan. He died by being impaled by a particularly vicious boar. Zrelo claims that "he still lives on in my hair!"

Trelo
The world's most insane gnome, often known as Insanity Incarnate. His favorite weapon is the fish (particularly in combination with another fish), and his speech can drive an Old God insane. He believes himself, at different times, to be a titan, a fish, a train, a chicken, and the king of Deeprun Tram. Trelo has his own (nonsensical) language, as well. He is followed by a chicken that has been driven insane by Trelo's infamous Chicken Dance of Dread. He is (probably) some sort of rogue. Thinks robes are the best sort of rogue armor. Favorite expression: "Is you fish!"

Walutrazimfrelo
Zrelo's third(2) uncle twice added divided by nine parted 5½, Walu had a really bad accent, at least according to Zrelo. He was the inventor of the INCREDIBLE (INEDIBLE) SPEECH TRANSLATION DEVICE!, which could translate the language of chickens into the language of mooses, and back. It is believed he gave this device to his relative Trelo, since no other gnome ever could have use of it.

zAAlrosleckagghetrhaploreianrelo-Gurgersygear-BOOMsprocketsprocketspringmachinery
zAAl, as his closest relatives like to call him (much to his annoyance), is the patriarch of the Relo dynasty. He is a venerable old tinker, claimed to be both the oldest and most tinkskilled gnome alive. He rarely reveals himself to the public (which includes most of his own family), preferring to live alone inside of Relogear's Grand Workshop, constantly inventing new and strange inventions to assisst the gnomish race. Some of the most substantiated rumors surrounding the mysterious patriarch is that he is responsible for about 90% of gnomish inventions (most of which no non-gnome has ever heard of), that he was exiled for his involvement in the creation of the Radiant Bomb, that he has augmented himself with various cybernetics, and that he is actually half night elf. Some of the less substantiated rumors include him being the titan Emongrebü in disguise, being Deathwing in disguise, being the progenitor of the Infinite Dragonflight, being an Old God in disguise, being the one who corrupted Sargeras, being Medivh in disguise, being the reincarnated Uther Lightbringer, being the avatar of Azeroth's sun, being a machine, being the Lich King in disguise, being the chosen one of the Stonecutters, being Edwin VanCleef in disguise, and being the Lord of Thirdspace. He may or may not have invented a device that shattered the fourth wall, what do you think, dear reader?