Jastor Gallywix


 * "I never cover up the things I'm proud of. If the world was gonna split in half tomorrow, I’d buy the Dark Portal, slap a toll booth on it, and charge refugees the last of their pocket change, the rings off their fingers, a bite of their sandwiches, and a contractual obligation to build me a rocket palace in the skies of Nagrand. It’s the goblin way! Supply and demand! Deal with it!"

Trade Prince Jastor Gallywix is the much-maligned leader of the Bilgewater Cartel, one of the most powerful goblin trade guilds on Kezan. Despite betraying his own people in a petty act of vengeance, he retains his position as Trade Prince of the Bilgewater Cartel in its service to the Horde.

Early years
Jastor Gallywix's father, Luzik, was a tinker who lived and worked on Copper Street in Drudgetown on Kezan, and his mother left for a life of piracy. His father regularly tested his inventions - all of which had something to do with explosives (appropriately for goblins) - in the house, which had the potential for causing fatal injuries to both himself and his son. On his tenth birthday, Gallywix had had enough of his father's antics and thought about running away to become a pirate himself. That was before he witnessed a local street gang rough up his father for money, and steal a cookie his father had given him (from a bakery that had been destroyed in the various Trade Wars; as a result, the confection was highly rare). That inspired him to take control of his neighborhood and begin his rise to power on Kezan. First, he booby-trapped the payment to the gang with dynamite, blowing the entire gang sky-high. Then he took over, buying out the street's businesses, among them his father's tinkering business.

Many years later, Gallywix had become president of what became known as the Copper Street Conglomerate, an advisor to the Tinkers' Union, a major figure in the Trade Coalition, and the second wealthiest goblin in the Bilgewater Cartel - second only to Trade Prince Maldy himself. With the aid of the moguls of the Bilgewater and from Tek'zik Riddlevox, Director of the Tinkers' Union, all of whom believed that Maldy had gone soft (he was known to dote over his daughter, Nessa, with whom Gallywix had fallen in love with on first sight), Gallywix initiated a hostile takeover of the Bilgewater Cartel. He bought the loyalty of Maldy's staff, and replaced his security with his own mercenaries; he even owned the land on which Maldy's manor (the site of his own villa many years later) was situated. Though Maldy hoped to re-buy his possessions with the money he gained from trading weapons to the Alliance, Gallywix eliminated that possibility by destroying Maldy's trade fleet. Now in total control, Gallywix exiled Maldy and his daughter from Kezan, and later arranged his (supposedly accidental) death.

Recent years
Twenty years later, on the eve of the Shattering, Gallywix is on the verge of losing his position as Trade Prince and views the player - apparently a former protege of Gallywix's - as his rival for the office. When Deathwing causes Mount Kajaro to erupt, his position is greatly enhanced because he holds the only ship out of Kezan. Anyone who wishes to escape the island - including the player - must use his or her life savings to purchase a ticket, later becoming Gallywix’s slave. The ship is en route to Azshara when they are fired upon and sunk by an Alliance vessel in the crossfire of a naval battle with the Horde just off the coast of the Lost Isles. The Trade Prince turns out to have survived the Alliance attack and is one of the first goblins saved by the player on the island. He appears with the other goblin survivors immediately afterwards. Later, after the player rescues former Warchief Thrall, Gallywix arrives and swears vengeance upon the player and the other goblins of his own cartel, using Foreman Dampwick's rocket sling and escapes.

He later enslaves members of the Bilgewater Cartel and uses them as slaves in the Gallywix Labor Mine. At this point he is able to turn the player's friend (and female player's ex-boyfriend) Chip Endale to his side. After Chip's death, Gallywix begins going out with Candy Cane (the male player's ex-girlfriend).

The orc survivors of the naval battle eventually team up with the surviving goblins of the Bilgewater Cartel to confront the traitorous Gallywix in the conclusion of the goblin starting zone. The player and Thrall fight and defeat the Trade Prince, but Gallywix surrenders and promises to reform how he runs the cartel. Thrall allows Gallywix to remain as the Trade Prince of the Bilgewater Cartel, informs him that the cartel will have a new home in Azshara, and offers for them to join the Horde. Gallywix then swears his loyalty to the Horde.

Unfortunately Gallywix seems to resume his poor treatment of the player almost immediately, as evidenced by his refusal to talk to the player or grant pay raises during the ride to Orgrimmar.

With the Bilgewater goblins now in the trenches with the bigger brutes of the Horde, a significant number of trampling deaths have been reported. Normally unconcerned with such matters, Trade Prince Gallywix was alarmed to learn that Garrosh’s Forsaken accountants refused to pay soldier death benefits if the soldiers never got to the actual battle, and accidental stomps caused by tauren maneuvers made it extremely difficult to calculate how many goblins had made it to the battlefield before they were rendered flat. Gallywix offered a substantial cash reward for an invention that could both lift goblins out of hoof traffic and speed them along at comparable velocities so that goblin soldiers could die in “a calculate-able and reimbursable fashion.” Hundreds of submissions were made. Most exploded upon delivery. In the end, the clear (and relatively undamaged) winner was the sturdy transport trike created by the remarkably aged Jibidiah Gragglefutz.

Gallywix takes up residence in Azshara, quickly having the "Gallywix Pleasure Palace" constructed, complete with a gigantic stone monument depicting his head and a top hat. However, Gallywix himself is currently no-where to be found, and Boss Mida seems to be holding things together in his apparent absence.

Lost Isles climax

 * yell
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 * yell
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 * emote
 * yell
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 * yell

Greetings

 * Who let you in here? Oh, no matter...what do you want?
 * Sorry, no more open servant positions...wait...that's not why you're here?
 * Unless you're the new groundskeeper, I don't have time to talk to you.
 * Behold, the majesty of Gallywix Pleasure Palace...now get out, you're tracking dirt in!
 * Stay out of my pool!

Aggro

 * Security...Security!
 * You wanna fight?, you got it.

Killing a Player

 * No-one attacks the big G, and lives!
 * Eat It!

Other

 * "Hey, pal. Trade Prince Gallywix here. You’re holding this book in your hands because you wanna be like me. Who wouldn’t? There ain’t a goblin alive more powerful and dangerous than me. I can give you everything you need to succeed."
 * "I never cover up the things I’m proud of. If the world was gonna split in half tomorrow, I’d buy the Dark Portal, slap a toll booth on it, and charge refugees the last of their pocket change, the rings off their fingers, a bite of their sandwiches, and a contractual obligation to build me a rocket palace in the skies of Nagrand. It’s the goblin way! Supply and demand! Deal with it!"
 * "Years passed. I’m not gonna give you a detailed receipt of all the businesses I took over, started, sold, or destroyed. I won: that’s all. I won everything I wanted."
 * "Cautious is boring. The moguls and financiers of Bilgewater had decided they wanted a younger, more aggressive trade prince in Maldy’s place. Guess who."
 * "So. You got an hour to get off Kezan before I ventilate your daughter and drop you headfirst into Mount Kajaro. How’s that for ruthless?"
 * "You might be wondering if I have any regrets. Sure, I exiled the love of my life within ten minutes of meeting her and arranged the later, thoroughly accidental death of my never-to-be father-in-law. Everyone I’ve ever known has tried to betray me. I am alone. HA! Right. Oh, no, my limitless wealth and power are all I have! How tragic! Send me sympathy money."
 * "You’re never gonna beat me. There’s never been a trap I couldn’t turn to my advantage. Even when that goblin I’m not gonna name tried to get that brute of an orc Thrall to kill me, I still ended up on top."
 * "You bought my book, which makes us pals, right? Right. So, in the unlikely event that you live longer than me, there’s only one thing you need to do to take over the goblin race. Win."