User:Bigstackstwo/Varian's Chin Facts

This article contains "true" facts about King Varian Wrynn's chin. They started after he revealed his face leading the Alliance in the Wrath of the Lich King expansion, and expanded via the infamous World of Warcraft official forums.

Facts must be Warcraft-related, must not be repeated from facts already in the list, and must use good, concise, English grammar. Incoherent, unfunny, or facts which are similar to another will be edited out. Facts must also be "appropriate" (see talk page).

Abilities, attributes, and behavior

 * Varian with his massive chin once walked into a bar. The bartender said, "Hey!  Where'd you get that?"  The CHIN said, "Elwynn Forest.  They got 'em all over the place!"
 * During an AV match, was blocked by . The result was Varian's chin, and the death of most gnomes in the Alterac Mountains. Hence the lack of gnomes in Dalaran Crater.
 * The Chin take candle.
 * Varian's Chin immediately cuts any facial hair that tries to grow upon it.
 * In Soviet Russia, Chin hits you!
 * Varian's Chin can double as a 5 passenger mount... if you're feeling lucky.
 * Chris Metzen voices not only Thrall, but also Varian's Chin.
 * Garrosh came up with a scheme to humiliate the Alliance, invading Stormwind at its strongest point. Unfortunately for them Varian's chin just launched them back to Kalimdor.
 * The Chin regenerates health at 5hp per second and there is nothing you can do about it
 * Varian's chin has no need for bones to best you.
 * Varian's chin does not require additional pylons.
 * Hidden in Varians chin... the Ashbringer.
 * The Chin can do that while stunned.
 * Varian's Chin once did a barrel roll.
 * This formed the Twisting Nether.
 * Varian's Chin is the reason waldo is hiding...
 * When Varian's chin is dipped in water it doesn't become wet, the water becomes Chinned...
 * Varian's Chin can repel firepower of that magnitude.
 * Varian's Chin is the only known Object that can stop Saurfang's attacks.
 * The chin gains its powers from taking the lesser chins from others, why do you think the Defias wear those bandanas, and are so pissed at Stormwind.
 * Varian once Chintercepted into Saurfang Cleave. Scientists are still trying to work out why Neither are dead, but speculate that if it were to happen agian, Azeroth would explode into a million bits.
 * Varians Chin is so massive that when he nods, the motion causes a ripple in space that automatically kills the nearest Gnome.
 * Varian once grew a beard upon his massive chin. This beard almost caused the Dwarves to leave the alliance in shame. To prevent this, Varian shaves daily with his Legendary sword but not even it can stop the dreaded 5 o'clock shadow.
 * The missing diplomat never actually disappeared. Jaina merely panicked when she couldn't find him behind his massive chin.
 * Saurfang once attempted to cleave Varian's chin. The resulting blast shattered Draenor into the dreaded world we know as Outland.
 * Blizzard claims that the ability "Heroic Leap" was removed because it was overpowered. This is incorrect -It is not the move that was overpowered, only Varian, who used his chin to perform it.
 * The hair from varian's chin is the rare never seen last mineral in mining. It is so tought that one strand can support an entire city hanging from the air.
 * Varian's Chin doesn't need to improvise, as any landlubbers who attack him are never tougher than it thought.
 * Stan Smith and Glen Quagmire think King Varian has a large chin.
 * The Chin does in fact sleep. It's called Tuesday morning maintenance. Sometimes it gets extended if the Chin is really tired.
 * The chin can't...(You can't do that while your dead)
 * The Chin knows what causes Onyxia to Deep Breath.
 * The chin nose all.
 * The Chin knows what's in that essence. BAM!
 * Onyxia didn't die because of Varian's blades. She died after she got smacked by the Chin.
 * Varian's Chin's sweat can cure the Plague. Too bad Varian's Chin never sweats.
 * Varian's Chin counted to infinity... twice.
 * For Varian's Chin, resistance is not futile.
 * Varian's Chin IS prepared.
 * The Chin uses your instead of you're and no one complains...
 * Varian doesn't own the chin. The chin owns a Varian.

Impossibilities

 * Varian's Chin can kill 2 stones with 1 bird...
 * Varian's Chin can find the square root of a negative number
 * Varian's Chin can go past the gold limit
 * Varian can launch additional instances...WITH HIS CHIN
 * Shadowmourne is actually a hail follicle form Varian's Chin

Relations with other characters

 * Every night, before they go to sleep, the children of Azeroth check their closets for the Lich King. Every night, before he goes to sleep, the Lich King checks his closet for Varian's chin.
 * Imagine if someone were to cast wild growth on his chin...
 * When the warriors of the Horde didn't know where Varian was, they were required to wear metal guards for their meager jaw meat. High Overlord Varok Saurfang started the trend.
 * The Cataclysm began when Deathwing found out about Varian's chin. The Cataclysm will end when Varian's chin shatters Deathwing's, resulting in the dragon's instant explosion.

Things coming from Varian's Chin

 * Varian's Chin created the Burning Legion by rubbing itself on a bonfire.
 * The Naaru are just stubble shaved from Varian's chin.
 * A wart once fell of Varian's chin. The result was Saurfang.