User:Wormsborough/Journal of Grahg

Just adding this to WoWWiki since it's a better place to keep something like this archived than the official WoW forums are. I've kept pictures uploaded externally for now. Wormsborough 06:58, 4 May 2006 (EDT)

The Journal of Grahg
Original Thread

Day One
Grahg start great big adventure, Grahg smartesest Orc already, but Grahg also want be strongesest Orc! Grahg's dad always told Grahg that way to get strong is smash things for other Orcs, so Grahg acting lots like dad! Grahg also got in disagreement with a stupid weirdie Orc, who did not unde unne know that many come after three, stupid weirdie thought lots came after three, while all know that lots is many after many! Grahg also started picking and brewing herbies, and Grahg already becoming master herbie brew drinker! Things smashes today: Piggies, scorpies, pinkies, Orcs.

Day One, Supple Man Tell
Grahg forget things in journal, 'cuz Grahg had busy day. Grahg get insulted by weirdie Orc too, but weirdie Orc make stupid insult, say Grahg smell worse than Tauren dung, but that make no sense! Tauren dung got no nose, but Grahg got nose, so Grahg smell better! Other things smashed: Lizzies, kitties, blue skins.

Day Two
Grahg got back in Orgy Ogre big city today, and Grahg decide to go check auction house, there little green guy try and sell Grahg bag for uhh... Too many shiny gray things. Grahg get same size bag for less from store! Greedy little green guy!

Grahg also meet Thrall today, Thrall make really long, boring speech, and ends with telling Grahg to smash other Orcs east of Ogry Orgle big city, in cave called Rull Skock. Grahg smash lots Orcs until Grahg get fancy black stone thingy from one of them! So Grahg go to Thrall to ask, and Thrall say all kinds of stuff, and mention Grahg need to go to Neeru guy and mention something 'bout fiery stabbies. Neeru is a weirdie Orc though, he wear dress! Grahg ask him 'bout fiery stabbies, and Neeru say somethin' 'bout it not being surprise Grahg is part of some weird group, and he mention two names. I tell Thrall these names and Thrall happy! And Thrall happy means Grahg happy!

Grahg help girly Orc outside of big city too, but she weirdie. First tell Grahg find son, was hunting croccies, Grahg get annoyed at croccies and smashes them and finds shiny thing, Grahg no find son though, so Grahg decide bring shiny thing to girly Orc since Grahg no find son. Girly Orc suddenly start crieing and threw cloak at Grahg! Grahg no understand girly Orcs.

Grahg also go to Barrens today, and went to place called Crossroads. Grahg confused though, Grahg saw no cross, Grahg wonder why place called Crossroads.

Things smashed: Girlie birdies, croccies, Orcs, scorpies, piggies, little green guy.

Day Two, Supple Orc Tell
Grahg having great adventures in Barrens! Grahg meet weirdie girly Orc there, girly Orc bit of weirdie with talking, but Grahg like this girly Orc. Girly Orc want Grahg smash things, and Grahg likes smashing! Grahg smash birdies for girly Orc, and girly Orc seem please and now want Grahg to smash horsies! Grahg had no time to smash horsies yet, but Grahg has been smashing weirdie horsey people. Grahg no like girly horsey people, they throw lightning at Grahg! Grahg also invit inef look in Oasis there for moo man, and smash shroomies to gather spories for boney weirdie.

Grahg also arrive in Ratchet today, and Grahg amazed! Grahg never seen so many little green guys! Grahg seem to remember little green guys always blowing up back in other land, when Horde was fighting pinkies, but Grahg never got good look, Grahg too busy mining in gold mine. Grahg remember those days, Grahg glad iniv insi non-see thing stopped poking Grahg, that always annoying. But Grahg surprised there still enough little green guys to make own city.

More things smashed: Birdies, shroomies, horsey people, rappies.

Day Three
Grahg wake up, and Grahg notice it bright outside, but Grahg tired! Grahg decide to take rest day, 'cuz smashing make Grahg feel tired.

Day Three, More stuff
Grahg spending day in big city today, Grahg take time to look around for first time really. Grahg see in Valley of Wisdom that there be big tree with armour on it, so Grahg wonder armour is, and where Grahg get armour like it.

So Grahg go to shammie in same building as Thrall, and ask about armour! Grahg get to hear long boring story, about thing called Rot of Man, this confuse Grahg since it got to do with Orc, but Grahg let pass. Armour belong to Rot of Man, but Rot of Man get smashed by Hellscream! Hellscream saviour of Orc people, and great smasher! Grahg want be like Hellscream! Shammie tell Grahg that grave of Hellscream in Ash an' fail, which Grahg guess call that 'cuz Hellscream fail living after smashing Rot of Man into ash.

Grahg goin' to visit grave once Grahg get strongerer!

Grahg also hate laughin' blue skin in inn! Grahg ask him what so funny, but him no answer and laugh more, so Grahg ask again, him call Grahg "mon", but Grahg no called "mon" Grahg called Grahg! Grahg feel like smashing blue skin, but Grahg control himself and smash moo man in inn instead.

Day Many
Grahg talking with herbie brew master today, and Grahg hear from herbie brew master fishing important for herbie brew. So Grahg ask herbie brew master where Grahg can learn fishing, and Grahg get told "Valley of Honor, him on dock.". So Grahg go there, tell fishy Orc Grahg want fish, then fishy Orc offer Grahg fish, and Grahg call fishy Orc dummy and say Grahg not want fish, but learn fish!

Grahg also buy fishing pole, which not good for smashing, but good for fishing. Grahg go out Orgrimmar, and fish in sea! Grahg sometime smash annoying crabbies there, but Grahg find good fish spot. Grahg catch lots fish! And Grahg want cook fish, but recipe for slifskin mackel not for sale in big city! Grahg get told Grahg get recipe in Brill, and Grahg laugh and say that sound like pinkie town! But Grahg than hear that Brill not pinkie town, but bone man town. Grahg ask how Grahg get there, 'cuz since it former pinkie town, it back on other land, Grahg get told little green guys run zeplin there!

Grahg bit distrustful of little green guy zeplin, but little green guy tell Grahg that there be a "If zeplin go boom, you get shinies back on pursonel apple cashion" war and tea, which sound good to Grahg. So Grahg take zeplin to other land, and it not go boom! Grahg amazed, and bit dias dipa sad 'cuz Grahg no get shinies now, but Grahg live with that. Grahg head to Brill, buy slifskin mackel recipe, but Grahg no feel like cook them yet, Grahg instead decide to go sleep in Brill inn. Grahg think bit odd smell there, but Grahg can live with odd smell.

Day Many an' One
Grahg wake up today, and smell in Brill inn worse than before Grahg want sleep! Grahg check pack, and Grahg notice slifskin mackel smelling worse than bone man now! Grahg cook 'em anyways, and sell 'em to bone man, 'cuz Grahg guess fish with bone showing good for man with bone showing. Grahg only get paid few dullies for 'em, which Grahg no really like, but Grahg no can blame 'cuz of smell.

Grahg use hurt stone to get back to big city, and go visit mum to get pack washed, Grahg mum jus' like always "Where Grahg been? Me been worried!", "How you get pack smell so bad? It smell worse than Grahg dad!", but Grahg mum still wash pack for Grahg, which Grahg be glad about. Grahg also read to mum from Grahg journal, to show all big adventures Grahg had! Grahg never seen Grahg mum so proud! Grahg feel as great smasher as Hellscream!

But Grahg no can spend all time remis reem back at home, 'cuz Grahg have things to smash back in Barrens. Grahg took first flying cat flight today, Grahg never feeled so ill! Grahg wonder how anyone could want do so if not in hurry. Grahg had business to do in little green guy city in Barrens, had to bring crate there for bone guy, but Grahg feel so ill from flight Grahg no feel like smashing much, so Grahg spend time in little green guy city fishing before going to sleep at inn. This time Grahg took time to cook the slifskin mackel before sleepin', 'cuz Grahg don't think Grahg mum like it if Grahg come home with smelly pack again.

Day Many and Two
Grahg wake up with bang today, and wonder what happen. But it just little green guy inn man cooking. Grahg got better look around little green guy town today, and notice that little green guys have much smashing to do, Grahg guess little green guys too little to do much smashing without going boom.

Anyways, Grahg been asked to smash piyats and find bootsies and lensy for little green guy called Gaslow, so Grahg smash piyats, piyats is cowards though! They try and gang up on Grahg but Grahg been getting strong and not mind! Grahg really becoming big hero! Soon all Orc will know Grahg! Grahg drop lensy though, but it only bit scratched, Grahg sure little green guy not mind since little green guy prolly only want it make go boom. Little green guy mention telly scope thing to Grahg, so Grahg guess it going be big boom too!

Grahg also travel farther south to Barrens, 'cuz bone man in Crossroads ask Grahg bring thing to girly bone man in moo man city of The Under Bluff, and Grahg need hurry for it too! Grahg think moo man land is nice place, though land is bit green and remind Grahg of nasty pinkies. Grahg is good and deliver thing to girly bone man, who give Grahg some herbie brews for it! Grahg prefer own herbie brews, but always happy with more.

Grahg feel bit tired after long run, so Grahg decide to go sleep in moo man city, Grahg wonder what hero things Grahg will be doing next day!

Day Many and Three
Grahg decide that since Grahg in moo man city, Grahg take a look around moo man city! Grahg like moo man city, it high up, which look good.

Grahg check out all riseses and find big moo man story in tent on Elder Rise. Grahg think story bit boring, no big hero smashing things like Hellscream did to Rot of Man, and Grahg think some of it bit weirdie, but Grahg guess even moo manses have bit weirdie in them! Grahg also talk to herbie pickie moo man, and him teach Grahg how to rek res know more herbies! Grahg now making even more different herbie brews!

Grahg spend time fishing, but Grahg not catch any slifskin mackel here, so Grahg bit disappointed, Grahg like slifskin mackel if not kept in pack in Brill inn. Grahg learning to make linen into ban the jes too, which very handy when Grahg hurt! Grahg also ask around bit if moo man know anything to make Grahg feel less sick after flying, and Grahg get told that taking drink after flight good way of making Grahg feel less ill! So Grahg now have water in pack for after flights, Grahg hope it help Grahg, cause apart from sickness flight handy!

Day Many and Many
Grahg try out advice with drink after flying from moo man today, and Grahg amazed! It work! Grahg never been so happy! Grahg finally fly everywhere!

Grahg travel to little green guy town again, there Grahg talk with Orc who want Grahg smash things so Orc can make nice drink! Grahg think that perfect with Grahg now drinking after flying! So Grahg go smash kitties and birdies and shockie lizzies for Orc, and get drink made, Grahg not drink drink yet though, Grahg decide try that out later.

Grahg also talk to little green guy about Sam o' Flange, sound like pinkie name to Grahg, but apparently Sam o' Flange name of little green guy thing which Grahg need to recover from weirdie little green guys. Grahg do so, Grahg bring to little green guy, Grahg watch as little green guy make thing go boom like Grahg expect, Grahg then ge told to bring to other little green guy up north! Grahg confused about little green guy, Grahg always think they like things going boom, but this little green guy not seem happy.

Grahg very surprised when get to little green guy up north, 'cause little green guy little green girl! Grahg not know those exist too, Grahg always thought little green guys drop from sky, Grahg seen that happen lot of times, but guess little green guys not little green girls too. Anyways, Grahg bring Sam o' Flange to little green girl, little green girl take look at Sam o' Flange, and tell Grahg to get things from buckets near Sludge Fen, Grahg do so, Grahg watch as little green girl try thing, and then little green girl makes thing go boom again! Grahg never seen that before, usually thing that go boom stay gone boom.

Little green girl tells Grahg little green girl not able to do with Sam o' Flange what little green guy want to do with it, so little green girl tell Grahg to go to little green guy in big city, Grahg not done that yet, Grahg went fishing in little green guy town instead, and now going to sleep after trying drink that Orc make for Grahg.

Day Many and Many and One
Grahg wake up with big headache in little green guy town inn, Grahg not sure how Grahg get there, but Grahg now know why drink Orc made for Grahg called Stormstout, Grahg feel like storm raging in Grahg head!

Grahg not fee like smashing due to headache, and also try ask little green inn guy for help with headache, little green inn guy tell Grahg to get hair of dog that bit Grahg, but Grahg never got bit by dog! Weirdie little green inn guy. Grahg decide check around little green guy town and fish some instead, Grahg curious where boat in little green guy town go, but Grahg no feel like boat ride on top of headache Grahg having.

Grahg decide it good time to sleep early, Grahg not feel like staying up with Grahg headache.

Day Many and Many and... Grahg just call it Lots
Grahg finally solve big problem Grahg was having, on one Grahg like smashing, but Grahg no like others smashing Grahg, which bad thing for warrior, Grahg also feel bit lonely, and Grahg wanting pet! So Grahg ask Grahg dad 'bout it...

Grahg dad great man, him part of great Peon rush of many year ago! So Grahg knew Grahg dad good fighter, and know thing 'bout better choice for Grahg if Grahg still want smash but not get smashed. Grahg get tell by Grahg dad that hunter usually train pets to get smashed while Hunter shoot! Grahg like more physical smashing, but Grahg live with shooting if Grahg not getting smashed.

Bad thing is Grahg having to restart training in Valley of Trials if Grahg want be hunter, but Grahg guess that okay. Grahg do boar smashing and scorpie smashing and apple getting all over again, Grahg amazed there still boars and scorpies and apple there! Grahg get some new cactus apple supise though, that nice.

Grahg also deciding to go learn how making things go boom! Grahg soon be big green guy when comes to making things go boom! Grahg still not learn from hunter trainer guy how Grahg tame pet, Grahg bit disappointed, but Grahg get tell that soon Grahg learn to do so. Grahg wondering what pet Grahg use, Grahg like piggies 'round Durator though, so Grahg thinkin' of taming one of them.

Day Lots and One
Grahg continue Grahg training as hunter today, Grahg spent some shooting pinkies, and blue skin long tusks. Grahg like friendly blue skin long tusks! Apart from the blue skin long tusk called Bom'bay, him turn Grahg into cluck-cluck and froggie and slithererer! Bom'bay do make Grahg big Grahg, which Grahg like, but that not make up for turning Grahg into cluck-cluck.

Grahg also make first steps towards training Grahg's own piggie today, Grahg first tame piggie for hunter trainer Orc, than tame crabbie and finally tame scorpie! Grahg also learn what beasties like eat an' how to teach them proper growling in big city! Grahg not yet tame own piggie, Grahg wait with that until Grahg have more time next day.

Grahg also finally not have act like monkey once Grahg tame piggie, Grahg was getting sick of odd looks when Grahg have to say ook.

Day Lots and Two
Grahg finally tame piggie today! Grahg have taught piggie how to oink mana mens at things in way they hate, and Grahg also teach piggie to bite things. Piggie is bad piggie though, piggie bit Grahg when Grahg tell piggie to bite when piggie still learning! So Grahg now feeding piggie bread instead of apples, Grahg can't have piggie act like bad piggie, so Grahg punish piggie with less favourite food of piggie.

Grahg also meet weirdie blue skin in Crossroads, him say Grahg great hero, and all Barrens talk of Grahg! Grahg think him drink too many herbie brews.

Grahg also try out new-found piggie powers on meanie orcs in shocky lizzie area, there little green guy there too, but it meanie little green guy, Grahg have piggie smash while Grahg shoot, and Grahg chop off hand to bring to Orc in small town in Durotar, him smash the hand and thank Grahg! Grahg also find piggie smashing and Grahg shooting very good, more gooder than just Grahg smashing!

Day Lots and Three (Grahg need think of different system for days...)
Grahg make first flight today since Grahg started training as hunter, and Grahg amazed! Grahg not feel sick when flying! Grahg think it has to do with act of birdie to shoot better, but Grahg like this part better! Grahg no more need water for when Grahg has been flying now, Grahg now can fly wherever he like, as long as Grahg remember to act like birdie while flying. Grahg need train bird cry bit though, Grahg now lose sound when speaking after few bird cries. Maybe Grahg should try cluck-cluck cry instead of huntie birdie cry.

Grahg also spend time killing horsie mans near oasisies today, no more Grahg getting shocked by girlie horsie mans now with Piggie helping! Good Piggie! Grahg need remember buy some apples for Piggie, oinking must make Piggie's throat sore, though Piggie taking bite out of horsie mans help little Grahg guess, but Piggie may want apples to get rid of taste.

Day More
Grahg and Piggie spending some time killing pig manses, Grahg wonder if Piggie feel bad about killing pig mans, but Grahg not notice Piggie feeling bad about it, so Grahg guess Piggie hate pig mans too. Grahg also notice Piggie not like tough bread or apples anymore, Piggie want bananas now, Grahg should check with shaman or hunter trainer Orc if Piggie have got bit of weirdiness from biting horsey people day before this day.

Grahg also get challenge to fight from moo man, him ignore Piggie's oink of taunty, but him not get close to Grahg! Grahg got good skills for staying away and shooting if Grahg wants to.

Grahg also learn to make burnie trap, that very useful! Grahg always want set Grahg enemies on fire, and now Grahg can! Horsey mans don't like it Grahg think, and bad little green guys don't either, but Grahg not like them, so that all good!

Day One More
Grahg decide to stay at big city today and get checked why Piggie no longer like apples or bread, but want banananas instead, Grahg first go to shammy 'bout it, but shammy not helpful, him just keep calling Grahg mon while Grahg tell him Grahg is Grahg, and only thing shammy do is drink weird brew and tell Piggie to relax. Piggie bite him, and Grahg agree with Piggie, Grahg would have done same if Grahg were Piggie.

Grahg gone to hunter trainer guy next, and hunter trainer guy tell Grahg that normal, beasties change taste as they get stronger, Piggie like bananananas now, and will like other things as Piggie get stronger. Grahg think that sound bit weirdie, but since that seem to be what happening to Piggie, Grahg guess Grahg have to live with it.

Still, Grahg no longer going to let Piggie bite horsey mans now, Grahg sure that real cause of Piggies change to bananananas.

More Day One More
Grahg check through Grahg journal, and Grahg notice Grahg have lots of people ask things from Wailie Caverns! Grahg have little green guy wanting booze, other little green guy wanting wailie sence, girly bone man wanting flowers, and girly moo man wanting gems! Grahg also have note saying that Wailie Caverns bad place to go alone, but Grahg meet bone man in the Under Bluff who want help Grahg in Wailie Caverns, for free to. Grahg almost wonder if bone man know Grahg, but Grahg know that not possible, Grahg never meet this bone man before. Bone man was very skilled priest called Safas, Grahg think him bit weirdie though, him wear white dress all time when Grahg was with him! But Grahg guess priest allowed to be bit weirdie.

When Grahg get close to Wailie Caverns, Grahg hunter senses start tingling! Grahg feel that there were moo man and blue skin no tusks above normal entrance of Wailie Caverns, and Grahg right too. They give Grahg more jobs, one moo man want Grahg to get hide from beasties in Wailie Caverns, and one blue skin want Grahg to kill beasties in Wailie Caverns! Grahg think that perfect, two jobs getting done at same time!

Grahg very impressed with power of Safas bone man, Safas bone man can take much more beating than even Piggie can! Grahg really wonder what Safas bone man doing in Wailie Caverns with Grahg, Safas bone man probably slay dragons just by looking!

Grahg and Safas bone man go through Wailie Caverns like sharp hatchet go through wood! Before Grahg know it, Grahg have lots many hides, lots of creatures dead, and even flowers for girly bone mans! Grahg even collect gems from bad blue skins! When Grahg and Safas bone man kill last blue skin for gem, suddenly moo man shout through caverns! Moo man say something about awakening Narcolepse or something, so we go talk to moo man, and moo man start walk through caverns while Grahg and Safas bone man protect him, him come to sleepy blue skin, which turn out be Narcolepse!

Moo man than start waking up Narcolepse, and nasty beasties appear out of corners of cave to stop us! First come nasty hissy sliffies, than come slimies, Grahg not sure what happen during slimies, but Grahg wake up after healing done by Safas, and Grahg armour covered in slime! Grahg fall down and crush slime, Grahg strong! But Grahg get interrupted by scary gurgling mid-cheer, 'cause big fish man come out of water! Grahg nearly panic, but Safas save day and kill big fish man! Then Narcolepse wake up, thank Grahg and Safas, and turn into bird along with moo man and fly away!

Wailie Caverns were biggest most exciting thing Grahg ever done! And Grahg get nice new armor and weapons from Wailie Caverns too! Grahg rarely spend time so well, not even winning annual peon gold mining contest get close!

Day Two More
After thrill of Wailie Caverns day before this day, Grahg now getting back to normal Grahg day. Grahg find that prolly for best anyway, Grahg not bare all thrills for two days without pause! Grahg decide to travel to mounties west of Crossroads today, there Grahg meet girly Orc and moo man, girly Orc want Grahg to stop bad little green guys, and moo man want Grahg stop bad moo mans!

Bad moo mans not all that strong when Grahg think of things Grahg and Safas kill in Wailie Caverns, but still good challenge for Grahg and Piggie! Bad moo mans first thing Grahg try new trap on, and Grahg like new trap! Bring some cold to heat of continent, bad moo mans should thank Grahg for Grahg using trap on them just before Grahg shoot them! Much better with heat than other trap Grahg has. Grahg almost want use cold trap on Grahg when Grahg in Durotar.

Grahg also help girly moo man escape from bad moo mans, Grahg get other moo man to help Grahg with this, though Grahg not really need help with it, moo man had time for helping Grahg, so moo man help Grahg. Grahg not had time to talk more with moo man, Grahg had big news to bring to moo man close to border of mounties after rescue, Grahg not able to delay that. Moo man very thankful to Grahg! Moo man give Grahg many shinies for rescue!

Grahg's dealing with bad little green guys went very easy, Grahg nearly wonder why girly Orc not just remove little green guys self, but Grahg not mind, Grahg get paid shinies for removing bad little green guys.

Next thing Grahg do is go to moo man town in mounties, Grahg get shinies for news of girly moo man rescuing there too! Grahg get bit tired of travel though, and call it night in moo man town.

Day Three More
Grahg decide today good day for going to Ash an' Fail, Grahg still wanting to visit Hellscream grave there, and Grahg and Piggie both very strong, so Grahg think Grahg ready for Ash an' Fail!

Grahg first make stop at Crossroads for ammo, Grahg meet very, very, very weirdie Orc there. First weirdie Orc want glasses, Grahg say Grahg have no glasses, weirdie Orc say weirdie Orc mean goggles, Grahg say these Grahg goggles, not weirdie Orc goggles, and than weirdie Orc say Grahg dumb! Grahg not dumb, Grahg smart, Grahg know goggles are goggles not glasses! Than weirdie Orc say sorry, but Grahg not making goggles for weirdie Orc, weirdie Orc offend Grahg!

Grahg next travel to Ash an' Fail, and amazed at greeniness! Grahg expected that with name like Ash an' Fail, Ash an' Fail be more like Barrens! Grahg travel to Splintertree Post, and meet little green girl there, Grahg speak with little green girl 'bout engineering, and little green girl tell Grahg little green girl have pictograph for Grahg if Grahg give little green girl some shinies! Grahg gladly buy, and Grahg including first picture Grahg have had make by little green girl in journal!



Grahg also take some pictures, but they not look good, so Grahg throw pictures away. But Grahg going to include pictures of all places Grahg visit now! That way Grahg always can look back at things Grahg have done!

Day Many More
Grahg wake up in Ash an' Fail, and ask about where Hellscream grave is, Grahg get told to southeast of town! Grahg go there, and see big powerful glowy stone creature thing, and Piggie look at it with fear in Piggie's eyes! Grahg know that bad sign, so Grahg staying away from there until Grahg and Piggie stronger.

Grahg decide to travel to The Under Bluff instead, to try out Grahg pictograph! Grahg take lots pictures there, but only two pictures look good. First one is picture of view from flyer moo man tower!



Grahg also take picture in bone man cave there. Picture turned out bit darker than Grahg expect, but Grahg still like looks.



Grahg get told by girly bone man that Grahg can pick up thing to use to stop bad little green guys in mounties if Grahg go to Tarren Mill in Hillsbrad. So Grahg go there to pick up thing, Grahg think it long, long way to travel, but Grahg guess it worth it. Grahg let one bone mans there take picture of Grahg too! Piggie not want picture taken there, Grahg not sure why, but picture turn out nice!



Grahg staying in Tarren Mill inn for now, Grahg very tired after all travelling.

Day Next
Grahg never knew bone man inn guys such weirdies! Bone man inn guy tell Grahg Piggie not go in inn because of smell, Grahg tell bone man that Piggie not mind smell, and bone man inn guy act insulted! Grahg never going to sleep in bone man inn again, bone mans big weirdies. Grahg do pick up thing that Grahg was picking up in Tarren Mill, though Grahg not sure if Grahg want help weirdies like bone mans.

Grahg head back to mounties now, very nice moo man town in mounties, and moo mans not worry about Piggie minding smells too! That far better than bone mans. Grahg also get many jobs there, many involving Grahg shooting things! That always sign of good job to Grahg.

First job Grahg doing involve shooting things on top of mounties, Grahg see things, and Grahg remember Hellscream story when see things, Grahg wonder why, Grahg never seen these things! Grahg shoot them anyway, but Grahg not really feel good 'bout it, but Grahg have job to do, so Grahg do job. Grahg not taking more jobs from long-ear pinkie though, Grahg wonder why Grahg took job from long-ear pinkie anyway.

Grahg also ask girly moo man shaman 'bout it, and girly moo man shaman tell Grahg that Grahg just done bad thing for balance of nature! Grahg not want do that, so Grahg ask if Grahg do anything to re-balance it. Girly moo man give Grahg some seeds, and tell Grahg to plant seeds in Charred Vale west of moo man mountie town. Grahg arrive in Charred Vale, and Grahg notice Charred Vale look like Grahg expect Ash an' Fail to look! Very dark, black trees, and walking fires. That seem normal with name like Ash an' Fail!

Grahg go in and plant seeds there, and get bothered by girly birdies, walking fires, walking trees and lizzies! Grahg really wonder why so many beasties live in place like Charred Vale, not like it nice place to live unless beastie is a walking fire.

Grahg think that balance of nature thing sound bit weirdie though, now Grahg think 'bout it. 'cause if Grahg look at it, than top of mounties are too green, and Charred Vale too charred, so if Grahg look at it, balance of nature only in those two things if Charred Vale become green or top of mounties become charred. But Grahg not shaman, so Grahg just leave nature balancing to them.

Grahg staying at moo man mountie town for night, and had friendly person take picture of Grahg and Piggie in inn, so Grahg can show bone man inn guy that Piggie not mind inn smell!



Day More Next
Grahg check Grahg's log, and Grahg notice Grahg done all other jobs in mounties that Grahg had while Grahg was planting seeds in Charred Vale. That useful, Grahg not feel like heading there again, so this save Grahg from heading there again!

Grahg decide to go to Ash an' Fail and see if Grahg has jobs to do there. And Grahg sure has! Grahg really got hunting to do too, Grahg never feel so much as Hunter as when Grahg do hunting jobs in Ash an' Fail. First beastie Grahg hunt is big bear, Grahg spend long time looking for big bear, and Grahg prepare very clever trap for big bear! When big bear step on trap, big bear triger the rope that moves the branch that hits a birdie nest! And it set big bear on fire too! Big bear no chance against combined power of Grahg and Piggie. And Grahg take paw off big bear as proof of kill.

Next beastie Grahg is hunting is big, big kittie. Big, big kittie stronger than big bear was, so Grahg prepare even bigger and better trap! This trap trigger the rope that move the branch that launches a birdie nest so that eggs land all around original trap big, big kittie triggers before setting big, big kittie on fire! Grahg really good trapper hunter, and big, big kittie so surprised at trap Grahg practically shoot big, big kittie before big, big kittie know what happen! Grahg take head from big, big kittie as proof of kill.

Finally Grahg need hunt big, big, big birdie! When Grahg first look at big, big, big birdie, Grahg feel slightly scared, but Grahg brave Orc, and Grahg still continue the hunt of the big, big, big birdie. Grahg not decide to go for highly clever trap this time around, Grahg simply make trap to set big, big, big birdie on fire. Big, big, big birdie trigger trap, and fly at Grahg with scream of rage, Grahg tells Piggie to attack big, big, big birdie and oink at big, big, big birdie, and Grahg's ploy work! Big, big, big birdie attack Piggie, while Grahg start shooting big, big, big birdie! Grahg even figure out way of shooting very fast, but Grahg not able to keep it up long, still very helpful for killing things like big, big, big birdie! Once Grahg finally have kill big, big, big birdie Grahg take talon from big, big, big birdie as proof.

Grahg take all three things Grahg taken from beasties to girly moo man in east Ash an' Fail town, and Grahg get nice looking cape for effort!

Day One More Next
Grahg decide that now be good time for Grahg to go to place Grahg not been before! Grahg been every direction of Barrens, but not south of Barrens, so Grahg now go south of Barrens. This place called Thousand Needles, but Grahg not notice any needles, there just big rock pillar things, but no needles. Grahg guess some weirdie named it, but it nice looking place to take picture of, so Grahg did that!



Grahg first job here is to get weirdie egg from hissy birdies, Grahg do that for moo man, moo man hatch egg, very pretty red hissy birdie come from that, and kill doggie, and moo man get all egg eks wound up 'cause of hissy birdie! Say it called Arakira, and it bad sign for moo mans. Grahg notice moo mans tend to get wound up about things like this all time anyway, but Grahg guess that this hissy birdie really bad! It kill doggie after all, that never good thing.

Grahg get told to go to other moo man in camp west of Thousand Needles moo man town, and tell moo man about Arikara. Grahg need gather some herbies for moo man, than bring those herbies to oldie girly moo man called Magatha. Grahg wonder if it really worth all trouble, not like Grahg saw red hissy birdie after it kill doggie. But Grahg guess Grahg will see 'bout that later. Grahg not have time for it now, and has more important things to do! Like visiting Hellscream grave in Ash an' Fail, which Grahg now going to do very soon. No glowing big rock thingies going to stop Grahg anymore now! Piggie just has to be less of a scaredypig.

Day Two More Next
Grahg and Piggie finally start journey to Hellscream grave, on way there Grahg and Piggie manage to fight off big glowy rock thing and evil bad things too! They very little chance versus power of Grahg and Piggie, Grahg very surprised at that, Grahg expected them to be lots more strong!

Grahg take two pictures of Piggie fighting things:

 

Next thing Grahg know, Grahg arrive at Hellscream grave! Grahg very impressed at calm of place, when Grahg think of demons all around it, Grahg wonder if demons stay away 'cause of Hellscream slaying Rot o' Man. Grahg take picture of text on Hellscream grave, and also of Hellscream grave itself, though Grahg going to visit again later.

 

After Grahg take pictures, Grahg get girly Orc called Nyarti asking what Grahg doing there! Grahg answer honestly, and say Grahg visiting grave of Hellscream. Nyarti seem impressed by Grahg doing this, and also thank Grahg for killing some of the 'demons' along the way. Grahg talk with Nyarti a bit, and Nyarti tell Grahg that Manorot (Grahg guess Nyarti mean Rot o' Man) weapons can be found to northeast of Hellscream grave, so Grahg bid Nyarti farewell, and set off to find these! Nyarti tell Grahg be careful, but Grahg see no need, 'demons' here not strong anyway.

Grahg arrive at Rot o' Man weapons, and impressed! They fly! And that while Rot o' Man long dead! Grahg never think Hellscream that strong so that Hellscream kill thing which can make large weapons fly for so long! Grahg take picture of flying weapons too.



The journal page has some blood splattered on it at this point))

Gah, while Grahg taking pictures, nasty doggies creep up on Grahg! Grahg so surprised, Grahg barely able to react, but Grahg survive! Grahg wonder why world is spi--

The writing suddenly trails off at this point, ending in a large ink blot

Day New
Grahg still not sure what happen, but Grahg wake up in The Under Bluff today. Grahg not sure how Grahg get there, Grahg journal say Grahg was in Ash an' Fail, but Grahg not have memory of that either. Grahg not even sure if Grahg is Grahg, Grahg just get told this journal found next to Grahg, so Grahg guess Grahg is Grahg, but Grahg not know sure. Grahg might be Orc who travel with Grahg, but not Grahg. Thinking about this give Grahg headache, Grahg should think about something else...

If Grahg is Grahg, than Grahg wonder what happen to Piggie mentioned in Grahg journal. Victim to doggies mentioned? Grahg guess so. Moo mans tell Grahg that Grahg should relacks, Grahg suffer big wound and only wake up after many days, and Grahg should stay in The Under Bluff while Grahg recovering. Maybe Grahg memory come back if Grahg take time to relacks too...

Day New Two
Grahg continue Grahg adventuring today. Grahg now quite sure that Grahg is Grahg from Grahg journal, Grahg whistle and Piggie come to Grahg! Grahg also have very clever idea! Grahg have let armour made for Piggie. Piggie protected more from bad beasties now. Far better for Grahg.



Piggie have become bit weirdie since Grahg gone for few days though, and Piggie need to get used to armour too, so Grahg having to train Piggie anew for a bit. But Grahg have Piggie back anyway! That always good thing for Grahg. Other people in Orgrimmar impressed with armour of Piggie as well! They say they never see anything like it! Grahg never thought Grahg so clever.

Day New Three
Grahg notice that just outside of big city there is Orc who send people to bring tribute to Hellscream monument. Grahg almost wonder if Orc inspired by Grahg visit, but Grahg guess not. Grahg been there before, and Grahg not going near Rot o' Man blades now! Grahg not going through weirdie memory loss thing second time. Grahg get nice fancy book with poem about Hellscream! Poem very nice, Grahg going to put in journal too.

His name will not die. His sacrifice will always serve to show the way.

Shackles once that chocked the inhale of honor's breath no longer bind us.

Can you hear his scream? A battle wail for the Horde: Victory or death!

We must remember his strength in the face of death. His dream, reality.

Dangers are abound, Enemies seek to bring us back to the shackles.

When we fight, think of he who did what must be done. Grom Hellscream, forever!

Grahg forgot to take pictures of monument surrounded by tribute though, Grahg too taken in by moment when Grahg was there.

Day Newer
Grahg decide it good idea to go back to Less Than Lots Needles this day, when there Grahg meet weirdie moo man south of town in cave! Moo man say moo man wat test Grahg, Grahg say okay, and next thing Grahg know, Grahg on top of needle! Grahg look down from wooden platform on top of needle, lose balance, and after nearly falling to groud suddenly end up back in cave with moo man! And moo man say Grahg have good faith to jump off needle, Grahg decide not to mention Grahg only "jump" 'cause Grahg lose balance.

Next weirdie moo man ask Grahg to go to girlie birdie cave, destroy crates, wait for girlie birdies to come and kill girlie birdies. Sound fun to Grahg. When Grahg arrive at crates, Grahg notice crates filled with food! Lots of tasty food for Grahg and Piggie! Grahg not dumb though, Grahg first place trap before Grahg and Piggie start eating! Girlie birdies rude though, they not like Grahg and Piggie eating food, and set off trap which explode and kill them. This create big mess which make Grahg stop feeling hungry, bad girlie birdies. But Grahg take some feathers from different colour girlie birdie as proof of Grahg doing so. Weirdie moo man seem impressed and say something about Grahg having strong body! Grahg always know enough food good way of getting strong body, and Grahg like that moo man agree, maybe moo man not as much weirdie as Grahg think.

Next moo man tell Grahg that Grahg must kill strong living rock called Rock-a-lym the Ponder. Living rocks always seem bit weirdie to Grahg, so Grahg do so, but Grahg wonder how Grahg know that Grahg killing right living rock? So Grahg just kill first living rock Grahg see, and take back bit of rock to moo man, and moo man seem impressed. Grahg wonder why though, that not strong living rock. Next thing moo man do is tell Grahg to go to mounties! Grahg think that bit too much for one day, so Grahg go to inn in town in Less Than Lots Needles and sleep there instead.

Day Newerer
Grahg travel to mounties for moo man to meet other moo man, and moo man tell Grahg to find book! Book in no tusk blue skin crypt thing, and about big flying lizzies! Grahg like big flying lizzies, so pretty. Grahg hope book have nice pictures of big flying lizzies. Red ones always look nice over old Horde camps, Grahg wonder what happen to Horde having bug flying lizzies, though flying kitties nice too, Grahg guess.

No tusk blue skin crypt thing have many bone mans in it too, Grahg wonder what they doing there. They not seem to mind Grahg killing see-through blue skins there though, so Grahg guess they there for them or something. They dead too! Book boring, just lots of text, no pretty pictures. Grahg bring book to mountie moo man, and than mountie moo man play guessing game! Grahg had to guess old name of old black big flying lizzie. Hard question, but Grahg not give up! And Grahg get told Grahg quite right after Grahg's lotsed guess (Grahg think guess was Nelly thing, weirdie name from book).

Grahg also take first zeplin flight in long time, this time Grahg go to big forest in south of other land! Very pretty forest, with many beasties too! Great place for hunter like Grahg. And Orc town AND little green guy town there too! Grahg never think Grahg have been in such good place in long time.

Day Newererer
Grahg really like big forest. It warm like Durotar, but not really warm like Durotar. It nice warm for Grahg! And big forest Orc town even have trainers for Grahg and Piggie! Grahg really, really liking big forest now.

There also much hunting to do, Grahg also hear about not hateful stumpy pinkie, who like hunting. Grahg not sure if Grahg believe that, Grahg always known stumpie pinkies to be nasty, throwing hammers from birdies before having big flying lizzie burn birdie. Still, Grahg guess not all stumpy pinkies same, there bad Orcs too, so Grahg guess most stumpy pinkies bad stumpy pinkies. They still pinkies, pinkies mostly bad after all.

Stumpy pinkie do have lots of hunting for Grahg to do, there two normal pinkies there too who also have hunting to do for Grahg! Kitties and lizzies Grahg be needing to kill, that sound good to Grahg. But big forest warmth make Grahg feel bit lazy, so Grahg staying at little green guy town for now.

Day Last
Grahg been feeling bit weirdie recently, like some weirdie Grahg telling Grahg to do things that Grahg not do. Like weirdie Grahg in Grahg say "Smash little green guys! Little green guys stupid!" and not weirdie Grahg in Grahg say "But Grahg like little green guys!". Grahg also have feeling like back when Grahg was peon and Thrall not big war leader chief Orc, like Grahg burn from inside!

Grahg been feeling this weirdie thing ever since Grahg wake up in The Under Bluff, but Grahg not had it feel like this! Not weirdie part of Grahg almost feel like listen to weirdie Grahg. But not weirdie Grahg in Grahg not want to do things weirdie Grahg in Grahg says Grahg tells Grahg to do!

Grahg think Grahg going to move away from people, so even if Grahg become full weirdie Grahg Grahg not hurt things not weirdie Grahg don't want hurt. Grahg maybe move back to old old home of Grahg, away from weirdie pinkie world...

Grahg to English Dictionary

 * Grahg - Alternatively means I, me, or anything describing Grahg himself. Presumably it's Grahg's name, he certainly never refers to himself as anything else.
 * Birdie - Any kind of birds, including, but not limited to, seagulls, tallstriders, harpies (More commonly referred to as girlie birdies), chickens (also known as cluck-clucks) and any other bird you could possibly think of.
 * Girlie/girly - Grahgs equivalent of female, note that it's usage is different from what you might expect, Grahg doesn't particularly differentiate between man or woman, he simply prefixes the word with girlie when referring to a woman. (Thus a female Tauren is a girly moo man, not a girly moo woman)
 * Pinkies - A collective term for Humans, Gnomes (bright-hair), Dwarves (stumpy) and High Elves (long ear). Humans are referred to as just pinkies, but a Gnome would be a bright-hair pinkie.
 * Blue skins - A collective term for both darkspear trolls (long tusk), and night elves (no tusk). When Grahg specifically refers to a night elf while this is not obvious, he'd say a "Grahg no like no tusk blue skin".
 * Little green guy - A goblin. Also the only known exception to the girly prefix rule, Grahg refers to female goblins as little green girls.
 * Moo man - Tauren.
 * Bone man - Undead.
 * Beasties - Animals.

How to speak like Grahg
Impress friends and family with your sudden skill at sounding stupid!

First, we'll start with a nice, comparison of a sentence which would be spoken by your average human versus how Grahg would say the same thing:

Human: Hello there! Could you help me kill some of those harpies? Grahg: Lok'tar! Could Orc help Grahg kill girlie birdies?

First of all, you'll notice the hello there has been replaced with Lok'tar, one of the traditional Orcish greetings; this is something I'd assume every single Orc knows, including Grahg.

One important aspect to speaking like Grahg, which gives that extra unique Grahgish flavour to the text, is avoiding the use of pronouns. When Grahg speaks, he instead replaces them with descriptive wording (Ranging from just plain Orc as seen here, to the person's name, to a rather detailed description), all variations of self-description will always be replaced with Grahg.

Various racial names also get replaced by a rough description of what the race consists of, as the harpies being replaced with girlie birdies shows. After all, what else are harpies than women with wings? Thus we arrive at girlie birdies. A few other examples can be found in the Grahgish to English dictionary above.

Beyond that, there's some basic improvisation in how I deal with text to make it sound more Grahgish, these are just basic simplification rules which also apply to some accents. That is, changing is to be from time to time and the occasional removal of a 'the' in the middle of a sentence. This gives a nice, simple, yet effective extra flair to the text. In the above example I've removed the some of those to achieve a nice extra effect of simplification, but I don't really apply this consistently, because it adds to the effect better if I don't.

One important difference to point out between what you read in the journal entries I've written and when Grahg is speaking is that when Grahg is actually speaking, he does know how to say things which he has trouble writing down. In-game I normally say Orgrimmar, but in the journal I write down big city.

Hope this is of interest to the people here! Remember, there's nothing as good at a party as a solid Grahg immitation!

Grahg in the Timeline
Note: The following is based on the official timeline as posted on the US World of Warcraft Website (http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/info/story/timeline.html) if anything seems horribly inconsistent with what should be. Please point it out; I'll probably hardly ever refer to it in-game, but it's just some neat information.


 * Year -6: (On Draenor) Grahg's birth.
 * Year -6 to 3: Relatively peaceful life on Draenor, Grahg grew up in his parents pig farm.
 * Year 4: Grahg's father got recruited as a Grunt for the first invasion of Azeroth. Grahg hasn't seen his father since.
 * Year 7: Grahg's recruitment as a peon during the second war. He was 13 years old at the time; Grahg got assigned to a relatively peaceful area in the Swamp of Sorrows, and his mother was forced to start a pig farm there as well.
 * Year 8: The Orcish outpost Grahg (and his mother) worked at surrendered to the Alliance; like most Orcs, Grahg was shut into an internment camp.
 * Year 18: Thrall freed the Orcs, including Grahg obviously.
 * Year 20: Grahg (and his mother) travelled to Kalimdor with the rest of the Orcish Horde; they ran a pig farm together once the Horde started building some basic settlements on Kalimdor.
 * Year 25: Grahg's mother retired from the pig farming business, instead settling for a life in Orgrimmar. Grahg, not content with staying in one place, decided to try out his skill as a warrior. A few days later, deciding he didn't like being a warrior after all, he started out as a hunter. See also, the rest of the journal.