User:Docnfoid/Metalizer

The Metalizer is an incredibly powerful and awesome Scorpid. Though his size is unimpressive, the Metalizer is tremendously resilient and cannot be destroyed. He has been known to single handedly storm enemy cities and was present at several of Azeroth’s and Outland’s historical events. The Metalizer goes wherever he wants and has no jurisdiction. The Metalizer has a night elf sidekick named Osborn.

=Origin=

The Metalizer was created by the Titans for unknown reasons. Some speculate it was because they were bored. It is also thought that he was created in case Sargeras ever returns to directly engage the Titans, as he is more powerful than any of them. Certain individuals believe that the Metalizer was created by the Titans as a sort of insurance policy. Should any of the worlds the Titans aided in ascending to greatness become corrupt and turn to evil, The Metalizer would be sent to destroy them.

All speculation aside, only a handful of beings know the true origins of the Metalizer besides the Titans;

Ysera

Alexstrasza

Elune

Cenarius

Tyrande Whisperwind

Malfurion Stormrage

It is a relatively unknown fact that there were more dimensions in the universe than the four perceived by the mortal races. These known dimensions include up/down, left/right, forward/back, and time. Originally, there were twelve dimensions. The Titans, as part of their quest to bring order to the universe, came to the conclusion that twelve dimensions was rather impractical and chaotic, as they might allow various beings to acquire godlike powers and make a general mess of things.

First, they needed an incredibly powerful vessel. The Titan Khaz'Goroth took his mighty hammer Vulraiis and reforged it (he later forged an identical one), and compressed its matter to incomprehensible density and forming it into the shape of a Scorpid (so it would look awesome). They then compressed the eight dimensions of chaos and removed them from the universe, trapping them inside the newly reforged Vulraiis. At this point, it was simply known as the Phylactery of Chaos.

When Sargeras eventually rebelled against the Titans’ vision and left to play with his demon friends, the Titans saw that he would become a titanic detrimental force in the universe. Thus, Eonar the Lifebinder imbued the Phylactery of Chaos with a consciousness and life. The phylactery was rechristened The Metalizer, as he was the most metal of any of their creations.

Metalizer didn’t do very much for a while, as the Titans weren’t too sure what exactly Sargeras would try to do; they only knew it would be bad. Eventually, when he invaded Azeroth, they realized exactly what he was after; The Well of Eternity. They saw that the Well was a corrupting influence, and they saw what might happen if it stayed intact; and so, they decided to send the Metalizer to Azeroth.

First, however, Khaz'Goroth forged him the first guitar, a mighty weapon blessed by Golganneth the Thunderer to be the loudest object in the universe. It was powered by magical battery created by Aman'Thul.

After receiving the guitar, named Vulriff the Noisebringer, Metalizer shifted fifth dimensionally and ended up on Azeroth. There, he traveled to the middle of the Well of Eternity, confusing the Burning Legion and the races of Azeroth alike, as none had ever seen a creature like this before (there were no Scorpids at the time (nevermind how Khaz’Goroth created the Metalizer without seeing a Scorpid before, Metalizer is just that awesome)). Both sides tried to attack him as he scuttled into the Well, but to no avail. Reaching the middle of the Well, the Metalizer turned the volume of Vulriff to 4 (out of 11) and busted out the first heavy metal guitar solo ever. It was a solo so powerful and beautiful that it made the Titans and Dragons weep. However, this guitar solo also destroyed the Well of Eternity and blasted apart Kalimdor, creating the Maelstrom, and ending the war.

After destroying the Well of Eternity and inventing Heavy Metal, the Titans allowed Metalizer a large amount of free reign, knowing he could teleport wherever they wanted him to. Until the shapers of the universe call upon him again, the Metalizer goes around doing whatever. For the past few years, he befriended a rather absentminded night elf engineer named Osborn and together they travel Azeroth and Draenor doing whatever and eating too many mammoth chili burritos. Metalizer has been the source of many important events on Draenor and Azeroth since then.

=Facts about The Metalizer=


 * Metalizer created Un'Goro Crater. After destroying the Well of Eternity, the Metalizer traveled to southern Kalimdor and turned his guitar way down, and attempted to practice. The result is the massive crater full of dinosaur we know and love today.


 * Metalizer created the Maelstrom. Cenarius, Tyrande Whisperwind and Malfurion Stormrage were all present at this event, but decide to take credit for it because the Metalizer told them to. No one is entirely sure why.


 * It is customary to insert various swear words in front of The Metalizer's name; for instance; The Motherf***ing Metalizer, or The God Damn Metalizer.


 * Metalizer and Saurfang have a healthy respect for each other. Metalizer at one point tried to teach Saurfang to play bass guitar, but he got bored and went to get a pizza.


 * The fret board on Vulriff the Noisebringer has been lined with slivers of wood from the splinters of Atiesh, which enables the Metalizer to turn the guitar up to 13, but also grants a much clearer aspect to the music it plays.


 * Metalizer went to the world of Draenor to practice his guitar. This time, he turned it up to 8 and busted out a single riff. To this day, Draenor remains shattered.


 * Metalizer is the father of all Scorpids. He sired the first herd of Scorpids with a Qiraji.


 * One quality that Scorpions and Scorpids share is that some of them glow under ultraviolet lights. One time, a gnome shined an ultraviolet light on the Metalizer. Gnomeregan is still irradiated.


 * The Metalizer invented the undead so he could kill his enemies twice.


 * The Metalizer cannot be destroyed because he exists in eight additional dimensions. However, sometimes he gets bored during fights and decides to leave Azeroth to annoy Sargeras for a while.


 * Some dwarves believe the Metalizer invented iron and other metals, but this is not in fact true.


 * The Exodar crashed because they tried to play one of Metalizer's records over the ship's public announcement system.


 * Saurfang is known to own autographed copies of all of Metalizer's albums.


 * The Metalizer hates Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris type jokes.