User:Kaleran/Bassaren

About Bassaren The Treewizard
Bassaren is the raid leader of the guild Gwen Stefani ( www.tinyurl.com/gsguild ) on the Blackhand US Server. He is a known forum and trade troll. He frequently posts within the realm forums of Blackhand and trade with calls of glory to his "House of the Tree Wizard".

History of the House of the Treewizard
the family of the tree wizard is as follows;

Injection, the Paladin Reaper - eldest son. Azzo, The Prince of Lies - son - (reportedly adopted) Holyshado the Devourer - son.

along with these people, are also those who have come to follow the "Path of the Tree Wizard."

Kaleran, The First Disciple, Pillar of the Tree Wizard, and spiritual guide of the Kingdom of Azeroth.

Xerron, master of the paladin arts, trusted brother and chief instructor of the Sons of the Treewizard.

Roggendorf and Lyavin, conjoined twins, and Viziers of the House of Bassaren.

Neofire, The Archon Prefect of the Word.

Speak, Herald of the Treewizard, Guardian of Trade Chat, Governor of Kalimdor.

Brostorm, The Scourge of the Treewizard.

Jac, Templar of the Church of Bassaren, Ironfist of the First Disciple.

Facts About Bassaren

 * Bassaren has become somewhat of an icon on the Blackhand Server, especially with the women of Blackhand.


 * Bassaren reputedly has a "wall of fame", covered in pictures of the many girls from Blackhand he has been with, this wall is also known as the great wall of China, as of December 1st, 1874, this wall was completely covered.


 * Bassarens raids tend to be full of women, as most men do not attend any raids led by the Treewizard has he loot favours the female gender.


 * it was once reported that he gifted onto Vishi, a druid of Blackhand, epic flying, her payment for said gold cost has not yet been disclosed to the public.


 * Bassaren frequently stars on the website The Gwen Stefani Times. Blackhands source of not-so-daily news.


 * Reportedly, Even the Champion of the Alliance, Mallius, and Tabbycat, both well known forum and trade trolls, have bended knee in supplication to Bassaren.


 * it is said he lives only on a diet of mashed potatoes and imported Australian Beer, this would explain his Manliness.


 * one day while in Ironforge, a dwarf warrior known for his sub-par abilities named Ayadwarf called out for Bassarens help. Ayadwarf is now Speak, Herald of the Treewizard and a Paladin of great repute.


 * the guild Redefined once tested Bassarens patience, they are now falling apart at an alarming rate.


 * Bassaren raffles tickets off to his yearly parties, the entire population of Blackhand vies for the rare tickets, it is said that at his last party P Diddy performed with Keith Urban.


 * Bassaren once asked in trade for those who love him to post a thread upon the Blackhand realm forums, one hour, and 4 pages later, he was given a seven day forum ban and 4 day in-game.


 * Bassaren is the founder of the Gwen Stefani Childs Play Charity Foundation, in which his Guild will run you through Hardmodes in exchange for set donations to Childs Play Charity, a site that raises money for sick children.
 * Many have stood against the might of Bassaren, all have fallen, even his First Disciple Kaleran was once his rival, until he realized the True Path of the Book of Jom (Bassarens holy book).


 * it is whispered in dark alleys and quiet corners that bassarens only weakness is the sound of slurping, this has yet to be confirmed or denied.

Bassaren Quotes

 * "Individual player skill can only take you so far. Poor leadership making bad decisions will hold back even the best team of players in any game, be it football, baseball or even WoW. Now I bring this to your attention because I have spoken with the trees of the Horde lands. They have informed me that Warfare wiped on their tribute to insanity attempt this week due to lag. Now while some of you might feel bad for Warfare, your heart may go out to what you consider is bad luck on their part. I, Bassaren the Treewizard feel differently on the subject. Warfare failed, they failed because their leaders did not have the wisdom to realize that the first few days of a major content patch was probably not the time to risk an attempt sensitive progression achievement.

Now perhaps Warfare's leaders wanted to hold onto the lie. The Lie that they told themselves that they somehow were still ahead of GS on progression despite getting Mad Skill after us. While every raider knows a kill and a kill and whoever gets it first gets it first. Warfare decided to enjoy a flaw in the ranking sites that could not discern kills on the same days, letting them lie to themselves thinking they were ahead of GS. So desperate to hold onto their place on the server 2nd if even in their own mind, the jealous greedy management of warfare make a terrible and dangerous choice. They chanced the lag to beat us to glory.

I on the other hand put my raiders first, knowing that gambling with thier hopes and dreams risking all out hard work and dedication on the competence of a blizzard content patch was foolish and plain right evil. So I put a call out to the Raiders of Warfare, take a stand against your oppressors, RISE UP AGAINST THOSE WHO BETRAYED YOU, FIGHT FOR YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS and NEVER SURRENDER TO CORRUPT AND VILE LEADERSHIP.

SWEAR ALLEGIANCE TO THE TREEWIZARD AND I WILL LEAD YOUR GUILD WITH THE WISDOM AND FORESIGHT YOUR SKILL AS PLAYERS DESERVE. WILL WE TRIUMPH!

YES WE CAN!" - Bassaren attempting to free the poor souls of the Horde.


 * "Hey Babycakes, want a 310 mount?" - to random female players of Blackhand.


 * "Im Back Guys!, Dont Worry!" - after multiple in-game/forum suspensions.


 * "as someone who has run alot of drunk naxx runs, two shots per kill is gonna kill you all" - when asked about the lethality of drinking games mixed with Naxxramas.


 * "Beginning of the End of Warfare imo" - stating his opinion on Gwen Stefani recruiting Warfares top DPS.


 * "The War Prince of Blackhand, the Paladin Reaper, heir to all of Azeroth. My son the day you were born the very forests of all Azeroth whispered the name Injection... My child I watched with pride as your grew into a weapon of righteousness. Remember our line has always rules with wisdom and strength and I know you will show restraint when exercising you great power. The truest victory is stirring the hearts of your people. I tell you this for when my days have come to an end. You shall be King" - Bassaren annointing his favored son.


 * "if you guys disband i will be upset, if you need some pro Guild management advice just send me a tell any time" - in response to Redefined's struggling recruitment.


 * "i like pie. cake is for pansies and canadians. arnie dont make me give you marital agita again" - during a heated debate of Cake vs Pie.


 * "The Hardest part about being a successful guild is leadership and guild management. In these tough economic times with sparse raid contend that is artifically made difficult by attempts limiting sometimes you just got to admit I need help. That is Where the Treewizard comes in, I feel I can offer more to the suffering BH community than just my witty charm and good looks, Turn over guild management and roster/raid decisions to me and I will improve your guilds standings on the server. My Proven leadership techniques make for one of the best mixes of fun and progression one can ask for in this game. I will make your tough calls, I will tell the bads they need to ride the bench and i will help you recruit within your means. All this I offer you for nothing other than to see us all progress farther as a server.

Redefined let me help you and we will kill Anub, YES WE CAN

FADED DREAMS We can stop the bleeding off of raiders and make ppl want to show up, YES WE CAN

TO ALL THOSE WHO ARE UNHAPPY WITH LEADERS THEY DONT TRUST YES WE CAN!

So please contact me in game and we can set something up " - lending advice to struggling guilds.

Guidance and Teachings From The Book of Jom

 * "Ye Tree Wizard! Mask of blood and flesh, all creation, flutter of wings, ye who bears the name of Bassaren! On the wall of blue flame, inscribe a twin lotus. In the abyss of conflagration, wait at the far heavens." - Bassaren at his rebirth, 7:4 - Text of Creation


 * "For My Right Hand is the stone that bridges worlds, My Left Hand is the blade that binds reality. The Black-Haired Shepherd is hung from a chair. stratus clouds come! and I strike down the Ibis" - Bassaren unto his enemies, 12:7 - Text of War.


 * "Brethren-in-arms withdrawing for the distance of 8 sun and standing still; blue bolt, white bolt, black bolt, red bolt; sinking into the ocean together seeking redemption" - Bassaren unto his enemies, uniting the warring factions of Azeroth, 4:12 - Text of Creation


 * "Carriage of Thunder. Bridge of a spinning wheel. With light, divide this into six!" - Bassaren tearing Draenor apart and creating the Outlands (Nagrand, Terokkar Forest, Shadowmoon Valley, Hellfire Peninsula, Zangarmarsh, Blades Edge Mountain, it should be noted that Netherstorm at this time was still connected to Blades Edge, upon reciting this, Bassaren removed Netherstorm from his new land, as it is too purple for his liking, purple is for unbelievers). 3:17 - Text of Creation.


 * Walls of ironsand, a priestly pagoda, glowing ironclad fireflies. Standing upright, silent to the end." - Bassaren blessing Blackhand with his protection. 4:11 -Book of Serenity


 * "Tree Wizard guide us, Tree Wizard teach us, Tree Wizard protect us. In your shade we thrive, in your strength we are sheltered, in your wisdom we are humbled. we live only to serve, our lives and hearts are yours" - The Prayer of Supplication.