User:Headchopperz

Patch 3.7 is a major content patch mainly focusing on destroying wow.

Factions

 * All horde factions have had their mean looking fortresses become more cute and cuddly, to keep up with the standards set by Hello Kitties Island Adventure.

Races

 * Gnomes have been removed, and worgens will not be introduced in cataclsym because of high numbers of twilight fans, instead they will be replaced with teletubbies.
 * Trolls now have the ability to chop tauren up into burgers and have the cooking abilities to fry them.
 * Male Blood Elves have been removed, you can only be a female from now on.

PvP

 * This inhumane system has been removed and battlegrounds are now a place of love, friendship, and pink fluffy happiness.
 * Resilience has been renamed to cuddliness.

World PVP

 * We have removed all world pvp from the game.
 * Stranglethorn Valley will be the only area where players can fight in world pvp, and only on pvp realms.

Dungeons & Raids

 * Dragons
 * All dragons will now have a wing flap ability where if a player is to the sides of the dragon they will be killed by the dragons wings.


 * Culling of Stratholme
 * Players may no longer skip the initial introduction dialog to this dungeon, and it will also now talk about the forgotten war thousands of years before with the titans, which takes around another 1 hour.


 * Icecrown Citadel
 * [The Lich King: Fixed a bug where every so often valkyrs would spawn in both phase 2 and 4, these valkyrs have been removed, The Lich Kings health has also been halved.
 * Hellscream's Warsong and Strength of Wrynn now give a 175% damage increase, but no longer effect rogues, mages or warlocks.

General

 * All classes will now get a new spell called Anal, were not sure what this spell does but because of everyone in the trade chat seeming to want a spell called this everyone can now have it.
 * All raid buffs now have unlimited range, you can also buff other players regardless of line of sight, or position in the world.

Death Knights

 * This class has been removed, and all people who have a deathknight will log on to find it has been deleted, now you should level a real class.

Druids

 * Nature's Grasp: Now has a 5 minute cooldown.
 * All Healing over Time effecting spells have been removed.
 * Talents
 * Balance
 * Starfall (druid ability): The damage done by this spell has been significantly increased, and the cooldown is now 30seconds, from the previous 1.30 minutes. This spell also kills the druid when used.
 * Typhoon: Mana cost increased to 32%, up from 25%.
 * Feral Combat
 * Druids now have a new feral form, known as the gargoyle, it lets the druid generate runic power to unleash powerful attacks, while studying hidden runes to command even the most unholy forces.
 * Prowl: This is now usable in combat, and has no cooldown.

Hunters

 * Armor penetration will now effect hunters attack power, every 1 armor penetration a hunter has it will reward up to 5 attack power.
 * Disengage: For 15 seconds after casting Disengage you will also be immune to all incoming attacks, and will also be healed for 100% of every attack, and heal every raid member near you for 50% of this damage.
 * Mongoose Bite: This spell will be removed due to changes with hunter pets.
 * Talents
 * Beast Matery
 * Hunters can now tame pets of any type, they can also tame bosses and monsters regardless of them being elite.
 * Fixed a bug where tamed pets will reduce in size.
 * Hunters can now unleash up to 3 pets onto their target at once, these pets will have their damage reduced to 85%, but will also enrage when one of their companions die.

Mages

 * Can now only cast conjure water and food, arcane intellect, slowfall, and polymorph all other spells have been removed.
 * Polymorph - When this spell is cast it will now automatically reflect itself back to the mage causing them to be polymorphed but for a longer duration of 5 minutes.
 * Slow Fall - Now has new icon.
 * Whenever a Mage types in chat they will only be allowed to say Q.

Priests

 * Priests no longer look badass in their gear and have to wear Vestments of the Virtuous dungeon banana set.
 * Priests are now forced to stand outside autionhouses and banks spam healing other players, if a priest should decide to leave this area the priest will be banned promptly.
 * Talents
 * Discipline
 * Renewed Hope: now has a 120-second duration, up from 60 seconds, but still has a 15-second cooldown.

Rogues

 * Fixed bug which allowed Rogues to wield two weapons at the same time.
 * If you exit stealth in any shape or form, a large alert symbol will now appear over the rogues head for 2 minutes.
 * Cloak of Shadows: This spell causes the rogue unable to stealth for 5 minutes and has had its length reduced to 4 seconds.
 * Vanish: This ability has been removed.
 * Kidney Shot: This ability now only works if the target is below 20% health.

Paladin

 * All paladin spells will now be instant cast, cause no mana cost, and have no cooldown.
 * All spells are also off the GCD.
 * Forbearance has been removed.
 * All bloodelf paladins have been deleted.

Shaman

 * Ghost Wolf: This spell will now correctly cause the shaman to turn invisible, and restore 5% of their health every second.
 * Can now learn plate at level 60 from any trainer.
 * Totems
 * Fixed a bug where Shamans were allowed to have more than 1 totem out at a time.
 * Totems are now effected by AoE damage/
 * Totems are now also invisible and untargetable, and when destroyed by AoE spells they will heal the Shaman for 100% of the damage caused to the totem when it was killed.
 * Lava Burst: This spell will now be effected by the mealstrom talent.
 * Frost Shock: This spell has been renamed to H-Shock, and will now correctly cause an atomic explosion at the targets location with a blast field of at least 57 megatons of TNT, similar to that of the Tsar Bomb(or Tsar Bomba).
 * Talents
 * Enhancement
 * Feral Spirit: Have been changed to feral puppies with extra cute and cuddliness, because war is bad!

Warlocks
Because warlocks are severly under powered at the moment:
 * Warlocks can now learn plate from when they create their character.
 * Warlocks fear now no longer gives diminishing returns and they can fear multiple targets at once.
 * All damage done via Damage over time spells has been significantly increased.
 * Warlocks however have a 95% chance to disconnect whenever they cast a spell.

Warriors

 * Can now inflict a debuf called STD, which will cause your target to stop what their were doing and keel over in pain clutching their groin for 2 minutes.
 * Apon a warriors death, they will remain dead until the next weekly maintainence.
 * Talents
 * Fury
 * Titan's Grip: has been removed from the Fury Talent tree and is now trainable from all warrior trainers.

Death

 * When you die, you will lose all your items except your 3 most valuable (based on Blizzard's discretion, epics always have a lower chance to be kept than anything else)
 * When you are dead you can no longer reserect at the spirit and when you walk as a spirit you have a -75% movement imparing effect, unless your a nightelf where it is -95%.
 * You can no longer be reserected by your companions, and those spells are therefore reserved for pets.
 * Death animations have all been changed to one fixed animation, similar to that of runescapes.
 * Whenever you die you will automatically loose 5 levels.

Guild System

 * All existing guilds have been removed.
 * The feature to create a guild has also been removed.

World Environment

 * Stranglethorn Valley has been renamed to the Wild
 * Gnomeregan has been finally captured and is now used to brew beers for the dwarfs in Ironforge, all gnomes will be killed on sight.

Items

 * We have decided to removed the Heathstone as many people have been abusing it to travel between areas in the world.
 * All mounts have been removed.
 * All flight masters have been removed.
 * All BOP and BOE items have been changed to regular items, items will no longer be ever bound to your character.
 * All mail items with armor penetration have been changed to haste instead.
 * All Celestial Steeds will be removed at the end of this month, and every month, you can rebuy the mount if you wish to keep it, every month.
 * has been killed by a freak Troll BBQ incident, and therefore frozen orbs are useless again.
 * A new consumable is on sale in Sen'Jin village known as Kebab sticks, they will heal players more effectively over time than any other consumable, and will also make the player more satisfied with a new well fed buff.
 * Glyphs
 * Death Knights
 * All Death Knight glyphs have been removed from the game due to the class not existing, but certain versions of them are usable by druids.
 * Mechanostriders: Have been removed with gnomes.

Monsters

 * All murlocs have been removed due to their vulgar looks, and their ability to sing such hatred in song such as 'I am murloc', which is now illegal to play or even mention.

Chat

 * Barrens chat is now broadcasted to everyone in world of warcraft in every channel.
 * Players can no longer speak to eachother in whisper,guildchat,say,yell,party,raid, and battleground chat.

Professions

 * Mining
 * A gold bar can now be smelted into gold coins by any player with a mining over 250.
 * A silver bar can now be smelted into silver coins by any player with a mining over 150.
 * A copper bar can now be smelted into copper coins by any player with a mining over 50.
 * Tailoring
 * Creating this item no longer invokes a 7-day cooldown.

Quests

 * All Death Knight starting quests have been re adapted for the druids new special quest line.

User Interface

 * No longer can be modified.

Achievements

 * Have been removed, and people over 9000 achievement points prior to this have been banned.

Technical

 * Servers will be down for 20 hours as we apply this patch.
 * After applying this patch players should be aware that they will experience massive lagg.
 * Graphics will be toned down considerably, and many buildings will now be 2d textures pasted on a 2 polygon object.

Third Party Software

 * Third Party Software that allows players to illegally communicate outside of the game, such as skype or ventrillo for Vo/IP will now be cracked down on. Anyone running such an application while world of warcraft is running will be immediatly banned.
 * Applications like msn and yahoo messanger will also be bannable same with other applications that transfer messages in real time between you and other clients.

Real World Communication

 * Real world communication has also been banned from use, no player is allowed to now talk to another human outside the game.

Mac

 * Various abilities such as casting spells or moving has been correctly disabled.
 * All emotes such as /sleep, and /laugh have been removed.

Copyright Infringement

 * Popular websites such as WoW-Wiki, Wowhead and Thottbot, have been shut down and users of these sites have been issued a 6 month ban, but we will still want a full 6 month payment from them if they wish to continue to pay after these 6 months.

Parche 3.3.7