User:Thaqweena/Airos/Journal

= Airos's Personal Journal. =




 * Please note everything here is known out of character until known in character.


 * Airos is a Player Character on the US Server Feathermoon.


 * Assume Airos is Roleplaying unless otherwise noted with Out of Character brackets, or a previous warning.


 * The only general times Airos is Out of Character by default is while questing in Party Chat, or Raid / Party Chat inside of a Dungeon.


 * Anything said in the "Say" Channel, or any public Emotes will always be In Character, unless noted with Out of Character brackets.

Airos's Album.
A collection of Photographs, Drawings or Paintings all created by Airos.

Entry One
''- Airos wakes up to find himself in Silvermoon City once again. He looked around taking the morning in "Yet another lonely morning." he thinks to himself. As he looked around the Inn's bedroom he stretched and sighed getting out of bed, a bed that's not his own.. he paused to ponder, "When will I have a bed of my own, or a place to call home for that matter." he'd always been out on his own why does it bother him so much lately? he quickly changed his thoughts and thought of the events that happened last night. As he thought to himself, he gathered his things from the room and slowly made his way down stairs. Airos grabs an apple from the basket and pays for it along with a glass of milk before making his way to a couch. He takes a seat and pulls out a journal he carries with him, it reminds him or her every time it was a present after all... He starts to write taking breaks only to drink and eat his late - morning breakfast. -''

'''" This is the first time I've used this journal since I've had it, it smells like her. Last night I saw Ayaria and spoke with her for the first time since our falling out, She's doing great and I'm happy for her. At first I thought .. I'd poke my eyes out but it seems I can in fact look at her now and not feel what I had for so many weeks after we stopped speaking to one another. I can't believe she is pregnant... and engaged.. That was a shock although.. I guess not she seemed like she was ready for a commitment sadly I was not when she was. It was good to let her know everything that was on my mind, and how I felt about us and what happened in the past, now we can actually talk and even be friends.. if we wanted though I think it's best we simply just go on our way. I'll always love Aya, but never will I love her as much as I love Mina, which makes me think... How the hell did things between me and Mina get so.. distant, I can't help but to think I've done something wrong.. I saw her last night as well, and we spoke not a word to one another. I know she must know how I feel.. perhaps I've told her too soon when we were so close and it pushed her away. I'll just have to wait for her and be here when she needs me.. just like with Aya. I'm just going to keep to myself as usual and continue to work with the Council. I've just been discharged from the battle fields recently as well before I came back yesterday. Seeing the women I care about, and being in battle reminds me of .. my original love... although no one would believe it was during war. Hmm interesting thought... "War". When we hear this little word we immediately think about death, violence and despair. But we are unaware of the good things that come with the war, like comradeship, solidarity and, in very rare cases, love. Someone could say "There's no love in the war" or "War is just made of hatred" and try to make me think that I'm wrong but as we can find a flower on the frostbitten ground, or in the middle of a blizzard, we can find love on the battlefield. I didn't believe this could happen, until I experienced it personally. Bah, there is so many things on my mind though I just simply can't express them all in one page. Who really knows what will happen in the future of our lives we can only live in the moments at hand sometimes it's best not to dwell on the past... I should know better by now... "'''

''- Airos stops there feeling some what content with what little he's wrote. He chugs the rest of milk in the glass and tosses the apple core to the trash can as he passes and steps into the Royal Exchange. -''

Entry Two
''- It's night and Airos is inside of Silvermoon City's Inn - Royal Exchange. As he sits in a couch thinking about things he pulls his journal out to wright his thoughts down. -''

'''" It's been a long time since me and Mina have spoken to one another alone. I feel that's the only way that we can truly be ourselves with one another. I hate how she seems to ignore me, and I hate myself even more for not making the first move and speaking with her. To be honest I am not any good at expressing my feelings. I can when the mood strikes or with the right person but I can't really take it most of the time. There have been a few times where I have openly shown a person I love what I feel. Once it wasn't all together worth it. The second, my heart was ripped by its strings. And now, what do I do? It is a hard problem. I am given the choice of again being vulnerable. Feeling defenseless. That feeling of near abject terror at what the person can do to you. That, I think, is what I feel now. That nagging sensation that I am going to be double crossed. Have my heart thrown to the floor again. That searing stomping piercing my chest. I fear it. More than death, more than any of the other sensations one has. I hate having to trust people. Giving them control. Letting them have the reigns of my life. That's it. I think I just have to decide. Set down my foot. No more, I say. No more of this hiding behind false pretenses. I just need to accept the fact that I cannot will not give people control of my heart again. Even at the cost of being alone... "'''

''- He closes the book, his face doesn't seem to look as though he's fazed but his heart.. it aches, for her though he can't express it to her, in fear of pushing her away and loosing control of his own self. He walks up stairs and crawls into an empty bed hoping that tomorrow brings a happier day. -''

Entry Three
''- The afternoon's sky is clear and there is a gentle breeze about the peaceful city of Silvermoon. Airos sits alone in the Royal Exchange atop a fountain's wall that he has grown to love and think of as " his spot ". The fountain and him have had numerous memories both past and present happy and sad. Airos could normally sit there and write or draw for hours at a time although lately he's been training and away from his beloved fountain for so long. He starts to drift into thoughts of his current situation and mood all of the sudden he gets a creative notion to write something personal, something dark it may or may not have to do with his personal feelings and a mixture of thoughts and creative ideas. He pulls out a black book that seems to have many stories and thoughts all over the pages. Air thumbs through the pages of poems and stories thoughts and things he wanted to remember for eternity, he finds a open page and begins to write. -''

'''" The dark angel of Hell, I stand alone in the desolate abyss, which is my home. All alone, with no one to call my own, I pace the grounds, waiting for voices to leave my head, and allow me to live in this world of dread. The grip of loneliness is too tight around my wrist, and the bruises will forever remind me of this life of mine. Scars, the proof of my pathetic existence, as those peer down and drown me in tears of pity, I stand chin high waiting for the wrath of my enemies to strike me down like the despicable vermin that I am. My heart, not even having the luxury of being broken, remains untouched, my lips yet kissed, my hands yet held…my eyes yet peered into by she who stole my heart, stomped it to the filthy ground, to see inside my mind, feel my pain and anguish, and free my from this Hell. My elegant black wings, shadow even myself in this dark realm, keep the hole inside my chest dry as the thunder comes storming by. The darkness, my one true friend, has always been there to calm me down, yet even now I see the annoying light reflecting through into my world. I peek into a gap revealing the world where hope continues as eagerly as happiness. I search amongst the pathetic beings, so ignorant in their own desires they fail to realize what more then in reality lose while they blindly believe they have gained anything at all. Amongst the crowd, I glimpse a young girl, radiant eyes a beauty, hair sparkling amidst the rays of the moonlight, whose face, like an angel drains every pessimistic thought from my mind. My heart slowly stops, as I look into her eyes, crying inside to kiss her lips and tell her I love her, my dear love, my long awaited soul mate. Where are you to hinder this pain, and lift it up off my heart to show me love and happiness once again? I am a mere child waiting to be taught how much I am needed. Hold me amongst your arms and allow me to breathe in your sweet breath. Then I see it…the master of my malice. Her sweet melodic voice calls out to he whose repulsive hands touch her desirable skin. Fury floods my veins as I wish Death to sweep upon him and deliver his soul to me so that I may call her mine own. Then my thoughts calm as I turn away from the crevasse in the air and sit alone in the darkness understanding my folly. My heart returns to its immortal death clock countdown, as I understand the meaning of true love. I leave them there, hand in hand understanding that in taking his life, I leave the woman I love in a world of misery like my own, one I know to well. My eyes, dried from unshed tears, unable to express myself except the pitiful glint that sparkles in them from pain and despair. I feel so alone, replaced and left in the dark to be forgotten. Sometimes I wonder if I expect too much from love, or maybe, I just do not know how to love. Is it possible, I am but a teacher on how good or bad life can become? Maybe I was never meant to love, and will remain but an inexperienced guide for those who, like me, lose there way amongst the darkened void. No matter my destiny, I know now what I must do. I must continue to walk this shadowed path of haunting spirits who dwell in the hellish domain of my existence, and furthermore keep out those who are victimized by love and despair, I will be their beacon back to the world where hope still exists. I will be their feeble savior, their angel who will keep them from this life, I know to well. "'''

''- He sits there for at least an hour running his fingers along the water's edge, he smiled and closed his eyes taking a deep breath in and seemed to exhale all the troubles he might of had. Writing always helped him in these times, yes he still thought about her but now he feels that he can move on from her grip and perhaps she's happy the way things are now anyways he thought. He'd still wait of course he will never admit it to himself or anyone else.. he always would. -''

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