User:Aletto/Holybrew

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Ragnar Holybrew is often drunk, and often a priest. He is not drunk all the time, because sundays are his sober days. By the same token, he is not a priest all the time - only sundays. Holybrew used to be a full-time priest, though he was not well known. He failed to earn a position with the Cathedral of Light in Stormwind, and shortly after also failed a crucial application exam for employment at the Hall of Mysteries in Ironforge. For a time, he ran his own church from his own home, but was later evicted when he began providing kegs of free beer in lieu of tiny cups of ceremonial wine. His last attempt at honest priesthood was fairly successful - he would preach to any listeners from a gold-painted canoe afloat on the waters of the Forlorn Cavern. Unfortunately, this came to a frightening end when a mischievous gnome rogue knocked Holybrew off the boat. Unable to swim, Holybrew barely managed to claw his way along the bed of the pool to the surface.

Holybrew was at his worst when he met Aletto DeMarly. Aletto found him unconscious in a Dwarven District alleyway and helped the dwarf out of his alcoholic stupor. Holybrew was reintroduced to the Light and for a time was completely sober. His love for beer was too much, however, and he soon began drinking again in more manageable quantities. Holybrew found that his calling in life was to rejuvenate the bodies of the ill and injured through laughter. Though his limited healing skills are often put to the test, Holybrew does most of his work through his sense of humor. Some are often surprised by how Holybrew can heal grievous injuries in minutes merely by telling a string of uproarious jokes, something which comes naturally to the dwarf. When forced to fight, Holybrew uses dark humor instead. By forcing his foes to laugh at terribly offensive and disgusting anecdotes, he weakens them and lowers their guard to dark forces. When not healing or hurting through laughter, Holybrew contributes information to Aletto's guide - mostly about where to find a good drink.