User:Gigawolf1/Who Killed Hogger

This article is not meant to be particularly funny, but rather a semi-serious look on the question of why exactly Istraz (my NE Druid), Mandrix (my Human Mage), and thousands others have all been able to kill certain NPCs without having any serious impact on the world around them. This will, of course, neglect the fact that World of Warcraft is just a game and anyone who spends more than two seconds thinking about it (the two seconds right after clearing Gnomer) should get themselves a girlfriend (or equivalent).

The Problem
Warcraft was first born as a game where Orcs and Humans fought over the southern part of the Eastern Kingdoms. The second game added a northern part of the continent where other fantasy creatures lived. In the third game, however, a western continent (and Northrend, too) were added, with several new races for both Alliance (fantasy creatures with pretty faces and anger management problems) and Horde (fantasy creatures with not-so-pretty faces and anger management problems). In each of these games, people died. Lots of nameless, worthless trash people who no one cares about. On top of this, every now and then someone with a name would die as well. This would be a big event, normally at a climactic battle late in a campaign (as opposed to Uther, who got pwned by a level 3 Arthas and some ghouls). However, in World of Warcraft, everyone (or almost everyone) can kill any particular mob. While special kills in the previous games often had a named killer (though I suppose you could send fifty footmen against Mal'Ganis and leave Arthas behind to watch), at no point did 4 million entities, a mix of Human, Gnome, Dwarf, Night Elf, and Draenei, march against any of these particular monsters. No raid that conquers Oggrimar consists of known heroes such as Jaina, Tyrande, or Leroy Jenkins. So, who are these pathetic mockeries of the legendary heroes of the world?

Hogger
Hogger is a Gnoll who some people believe holds Elwynn Forest hostage. Everyone else is an ignorant fool. If Hogger were just a little closer to Northshire Abbey, chances are there would be no high-level human players in World of Warcraft. He is without equal (seriously, there's no crazy elite mob sitting outside Razor Hill). And though almost every Alliance character has killed him at some point in their career (the exceptions being the ones who haven' even tried the quest), he defies logic by returning from the dead each time. Yet, what is Hogger's role in lore? Actually, what is the place of everyone who has killed him? Who got the first world kill of Hogger? Who REALLY broke the stranglehold that vicious beast held over the humans of Stormwind (whose level 60 guards couldn't deal with him)? Quite simply, ladies and gentlemen, who killed Hogger?

Crossroads
Another testament to the lack of impact that the players of World of Warcraft have are the Crossroads in the Barrens. Mankrik, Segra, and all the other happy folk have asked millions of kids age eight to forty-two to do the same things each time. And while some things, like going somewhere else for further instructions can be donea million times, Mankrik's amnesia seems to be quite severe. He doesn't seem to recall that twenty five people found his wife's dead body (the rest of the raid got lost). The 20 silver stolen by the Barrens Raptors has been recovered several thousand times a day. And when raiding, they don't stay dead. Is it because it's not Arthas, Hogger, or some other over-powered monstrosity who's killing them, but a psychopath who hopes to take over the Alliance without caring that it's just a video game? Or could it be due to the fact that forty people are logically unable to win against infinite nameless guards and reincarnating level 8 Orcs?

Thrall
That brings me to my next point. Some people have likely killed Thrall by walking in the side door (which all Horde towns, plus the Exodar, have). I, myself, managed to listen in on the Warchief's group (I snuck past everyone while a raid group was busy dying). And I MAY have hit the great one with a Moonfire. The next half a second was somewhat of a blur, and somewhat hazy. But the Horde hasn't chased me, a would-be assassin, even though I can still move my body around (well, not more than usual). Why is it that he would not feel animosity towards me? Is it because I saved his life that one time? Or because I will save his life that other time? Or could it be that he's been hurt far more and no one really cares about one little attack? Probably that last one. Also of note is that he probably died a couple times during the Orc Campaign of Reign of Chaos unless you're either really good at keeping enemies down or you cheated. Or didn't play it because you don't like games that involve amassing armies. Probably that last one.